Stranger Danger

“Yeah, yeah! We spit in your face, meatarian!” The rice jar also echoed in agreement. It didn’t hesitate to ally itself with the rolling pin to fight against the lamb meat’s oppression.

Never thought I’d heard the word “meatarian” in this context, Ye Qing rubbed his nose as he eavesdropped on the Strangers. The argument had turned out to be more interesting than he thought.

“Cut it out already. Aren’t you guys embarrassed at how childish you’re behaving?”

It was at this moment the iron pot who kicked off the conversation at the very beginning interrupted, “Noodles are fine, but can you get that chewy feeling without me to cook you nice and proper? Rice is high class, but you’re nothing without me to steam you, aren’t you? And you, lamb meat, do you think there’s anyone out there who’d eat you raw except animals?”

“If you ask me, then all of you are inferior to me. It is I who bestows you your divine color and taste!”

“Heh. I’m surprised you didn’t sprain your tongue bragging like that [1],” The stove suddenly spoke up.

“Without me burning your ass all day and night, can the ingredients get cooked and release their delicious aroma? Speaking of ass, the one thing you can do is to point your ass in my direction. How dare you say that everyone is inferior to you!”

“Screw you! Like you can do anything without me!” The iron pot retorted, “Also, I said this many times already, and I’ll say it again. I’m pointing my belly toward you, not my butt!”

The furnace scoffed, “Your belly looks just like a butt. Who can say if it’s a belly or a butt?”

Finally, the carrying pole leaning against the wall interrupted, “Do you guys have too much energy? Is that why you people can’t stop running your mouth?”

“In my opinion, none of you are as great as master’s oil. It is said that oil is the essential component of all food, and it is a fact that these humans wouldn’t enjoy their food nearly as much without master’s oil. Just look at them! They look like they might lose their souls at any moment!”

“Oil?” It was at this moment Ye Qing’s eyes lit up. Could this oil be the corpse wax that he was looking for? It could very well be!

Ye Qing was going to eavesdrop some more hoping that the Strangers would reveal more information, but the old man suddenly paused his work and shot Ye Qing a kind smile, “Have you considered what you want, dear customer?”

Can I order some oil? Was what Ye Qing wanted to say, but on second thought he wasn’t actually sure if the corpse wax actually originated from this stall. He should wait a little longer and see what happens.

“I’ve decided. Please cook me a menu [2], please!” Ye Qing replied. The bigger the sample size, the better his chance at identifying what he was looking for.

“You want me to cook you a… menu? What is that? I’ve never heard a phrase like that before,” The old man said in confusion.

“Oh, I totally forgot you don’t have a menu,” Ye Qing changed his request, “Cook me a table then!”

“That… doesn’t explain your request any better, customer.” Is cook-a-table cook-a-menu’s relative?

Ye Qing laughed, “Sorry, sorry! What I mean to say is, can you cook me a full table of dishes?”

“Oh, I see!” The old man exclaimed in realization, “I can do that, but can you really finish it all, customer?”

“I’ll be fine! I’ve been a big eater since I was a kid!” Ye Qing waved away his concern. “Also, feel free to make my food saltier and oiler than normal. Salt and oil makes the world go round, and I very much want to maintain a healthy figure.”

The old man: “...” I think your definition of a “healthy figure” might be a tad skewed.

“Okay, customer. Please give me a moment.”

Ye Qing’s request was unusual, but the old man paid it no heed. Forget him, everyone had encountered at least one person with extreme tastes at least once in their lives.

Heh. Humans.

Ye Qing played with his bamboo chopsticks once more, eyes flitting here and there seemingly at random. In reality, his attention was on the old man the entire time.

The old man’s cooking skills were pretty great. For example, he could cut any meat or vegetable smoothly and without pause as if he had done it a million times before. But of course, Ye Qing’s attention wasn’t on his cooking skills. It was on the oil he used to cook said dishes.

Unfortunately, Ye Qing couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. As far as he could tell, the cooking oil he used to cook the dishes were normal cooking oil. This disappointed him as a matter of course.

At first, Ye Qing didn’t notice anything amiss. The old man hadn’t acted out of the ordinary, and the dishes seemed fine as well. But over time, he started noticing something odd. Maybe it was because the old man had been working non-stop since he received Ye Qing’s order, or maybe it was because he was sticking a little too close to the hot stove. In any case, his face was entirely drenched in sweat.

This was perfectly normal, of course. Some people sweat easily, so much so that they could sweat like a pig while eating even during a cold, winter night, much less a hot stove. It was why Ye Qing paid it no heed at the beginning. However, the old man started sweating from his neck, his hands, his exposed arms, his torso and more. It eventually escalated to the point where his shirt was utterly drenched in sweat.

Naturally, it was inevitable that his sweat got into the food. Loads of it.

“Oh my, it smells so good! Master smells so good I can eat him!”

All the Strangers—the iron pot, the rolling pin, the carrying pole, the rice jar and more made intoxicated noises. The old man himself was growing more and more excited for some reason. His face was contorted into a crazed expression, and the amount of sweat he was sweating was still increasing. Speaking of the sweat, it didn’t look as bright or clean as before either. Instead, it was mixed with some sort of smelly, yellowish oil that shone eerily in the light.

The next moment, the old man started melting like a literal candle. The droplets turned into trickles, and trickles turned into steady streams as the oil spilled into the iron pot.

The pork meat and vegetables sizzled loudly within the oil and gave off an unbelievably fragrant aroma. It was so fragrant that the Strangers started showering praises unto the old man again,

“It smells good…”

“It smells too good…”

“I can’t hold it in any longer… ahhhhhhhh!”

A particularly strange cry was mixed within the shower of compliments, but Ye Qing was too busy feeling disgusted at what he saw to register it in his brain. Urgh… I’m the one who ordered a heavy meal, sure, this is way too extreme!

Suddenly, the old man looked up and grinned slowly at Ye Qing. “Don’t worry, customer. Your stir-fried pork liver will be ready very soon.”

As his mouth literally split from ear to ear, more smelly oil slid off his face and into his mouth and the iron pot. It was unbelievably horrifying and disgusting.

Ye Qing: “...”

Can you stop smiling, brother? You look better when you aren\'t smiling!

Of course, Ye Qing was the only one who could see this. Even if the other customers weren’t completely absorbed by their food, a special layer of energy permeated the mysterious cook and his stall. It masked the old man’s true appearance—crazed and dripping oil like crazy—and the kitchen equipment’s boisterous conversation with a convincing illusion.

If his spirit hadn’t grown by leaps and bounds after receiving the soul power of the souls, he might not have been able to see through the special energy either.

At this point, Ye Qing was almost certain that the smelly oil dripping was corpse wax, and the old man was the root cause behind Deng Qiang’s transformation and the zombie outbreaks.

“Your stir-fried pork liver is ready, customer. As you requested, I’d added a copious amount of salt and oil into your dish. I guarantee that you’ll be satisfied with the result.”

Stop mentioning the damn oil, for heavens’ sake.

Ye Qing examined the stir fried pork liver for a moment. The entire plate was covered in a thick layer of oil, or more accurately, corpse wax. Even now, the old man was dripping corpse wax until it formed a pool beneath his feet.

“You can start eating now, customer. Why aren’t you eating?” the old man urged when he saw that Ye Qing wasn’t moving.

“Go on! You can start eating now. Go on… why aren’t you eating? WhY areN’t YOu eaTiNG?”

After urging Ye Qing a couple more times to no avail, a hint of madness began creeping into his face bit by bit. The corners of his mouth split wide open, and copious amounts of corpse wax dripped off his eyes, his nose, and his mouth. It poured onto the stir-fried pork liver, spilled out of the plate, and spread toward Ye Qing bit by bit.

“deAR cUstoMER, WhY areN’t yOU EATINg my deliCiOUs FoOD?”

The old man slowly lowered his head. His wax-covered face inched closer and closer to Ye Qing.

“You’re too close, bro! Are you trying to show off your big face or something!?”

When the disgusting face was just an inch away from Ye Qing, he abruptly grabbed the back of the old man’s head and slammed it into the plate of stir-fried, corpse-waxed pork liver. There was so much force behind his arm that the wooden table shattered on impact.

Not done yet, Ye Qing clenched his left fist and threw a devastating uppercut that landed squarely on the old man’s chest. His force easily blew the old man to pieces, but he spilled slimy, smelly corpse wax instead of flesh and blood.

“WhY areN’t YOu eaTiNG?”

“whY aREn’t yOU eAtinG?”

“Why AREN’t YOU eATing?!”

After confirming that the old man was the mastermind behind it all, Ye Qing had ambushed the old man in hopes of killing him in one blow. However, he didn’t even manage to breathe a sigh of relief before the corpse wax on the ground climbed upward and reformed the old man. He glared at Ye Qing like he would swallow him whole.

“iF yOu wON’t EAT iT, TheN I’ll eAt yOu!”

The next moment, the old man’s mouth split all the way to the base of his neck like he was Pac-Man. Then, he pounced forward and attempted to chomp down Ye Qing’s head off.

Ye Qing sidestepped the charge and lashed out with his sleeve. An avalanche of force easily shattered the mouth into bits. However, Ye Qing knew from previous experience that this was but a tickle to the old man. Taking every step like he would stomp the earth into the abyss, he rushed up to the old man and threw another punch.

“Cloud Vaporization Style”

Normally, the “Cloud Vaporization Style” was an incredibly forceful technique, but this time it was anything but. It practically made no sound as it slipped into the old man’s body like a soft, gentle breeze.

The next moment, the old man’s entire body caught on fire. Dark red flames jutted out of his body, and the surrounding temperature spiked all of a sudden.

When Ye Qing threw his second punch, he converted what was a “hard” force into a “soft” force; a ruinous thunderstorm into a gentle drizzle midway. By doing this, he was able to inject his full power into the old man’s body and detonate it from the inside. Like a shadow it slipped into the night, and like a storm it loudly announced its presence.

The combined explosion of the Burning Wind and his fist force caused the old man to start melting inch by inch, and like a candle that was tossed into a furnace, the entire process only took the blink of an eye. One moment he was still screaming, and the next he had evaporated into thin air. It was as if he had never existed.

1. Chinese proverb, meaning that someone’s boasts are so ridiculous it’s a surprise they didn’t sprain their tongue. ☜

2. Meaning, cook me everything you have on your menu. Back then the list of dishes aren’t nearly as big, and Chinese have this habit of ordering an entire table of food and just “sampling” them even to this day. It’s supposed to be some sort of status quo symbol. ☜