I’m Really a Superstar

Afternoon.

Airport.

Just as he arrived at the hall, his phone rang.

It was Yao Jiancai, “Hey Little Zhang, why didn’t you pick my call up all night?”

“Hey Old Yao,” Zhang Ye was very familiar with him, so he casually addressed him, “Did you call me yesterday? Hai, I left my phone at home and didn’t bring it with me.

Yao Jiancai then said, “Where are you?”

“At the airport, why?” Zhang Ye asked.

“The movie has finished pre-production and there should be a celebration today and everyone is gathered for a feast. Now everyone is here except you. What are you doing at the airport? You have a job notice? Forget it. Let’s talk when you get here since it isn’t that far away. We are at Shun Yi.” Yao Jiancai then said, “Be quick, everyone’s waiting for you. If not for you subduing those monks on that mountain, our movie would have continued filming until the next month and go to other provinces to get the scenes of other monasteries. The to and fro of taking a plane would have delayed us greatly. So we can’t have you not attending. The Deputy Director even asked about you.”

Zhang Ye said, “I think I shouldn’t go? I have a flight in the afternoon.”

“That’s in the late afternoon. It’s still early. Come here quickly. That’s all.” Yao Jiancai hung up.

D*mn, Zhang Ye’s expression looked mixed. He looked at his check-in time and there was plenty of time, so he grabbed a taxi to the address Old Yao sent him through a text message.

……

“Here, cheers!”

“Teacher Little Zhang, drink!”

“Yes, I want to have one with Teacher Zhang!”

“Zhang Ye, let us have one drink. I didn’t know you in the past, but I sure got to know you at that little mountain. You sure are powerful. Let’s drink, no wine must be left!”

“Haha, let’s all toss a drink. Let’s celebrate the completion of ‘The Great Pugilistic World’!”

“If the box office exceeds a hundred million, then we will have a formal celebration again. Everyone, cheers!”

……

Afternoon.

Just past 2pm.

The airport was crowded as the crowds rushed around.

After the social gathering, Zhang Ye was walking inside but he bumped into a man!

“Aiyah!” Zhang Ye turned angry, “What are you doing! Why aren’t you watching where you go?”

The man was dressed in branded clothes and looked like he was in a hurry to catch a plane, as he retorted impatiently, “You bumped into me! And you the first offender wants to make a complaint?”

Zhang Ye stared, “Repeat once again who bumped into who?”

At this moment, the man’s phone rang. He looked nervous and then whispered, “Hi…Hi, I’ll board the plane immediately…I got it, got it!”

Zhang Ye still wanted to argue with him.

But after the man hung up, he ignored him and immediately rushed towards the boarding gate.

Zhang Ye cursed that he was lacking in manners behind him before he lined up for his boarding pass. This fellow was now tipsy after all the drinking and his steps were shaky. He did not have a high alcohol tolerance and Yao Jiancai had kept filling him up with drinks, so drink after drink, Zhang Ye was now really drunk and reeked of alcohol. After Zhang Ye obtained his boarding pass at Air China, he went to the e-ticket service counter nearby.

He placed his documents and said, “Give me my invoice.”

An airport staff looked at him and took his documents to begin working on it, “Please keep this well. This is your flight itinerary.”

Zhang Ye, who was wearing sunglasses, said angrily, “Why do I want a flight itinerary? I want my invoice.”

The staff turned speechless, “This is the airport’s invoice, and can be used for reimbursement claims.”

Zhang Ye carried on with his ways, “There isn’t even a scratch-it part*. This invoice you gave me must be fake, right?”

“What scratch-it?” The staff turned dumbfounded.

Zhang Ye’s eyes swept across him, “There should be a thin flap by the corner, so that when you open it, you will know how much money you win. If not, it will have words like “thank you for playing”, don’t you even know this? Are you new here?”

The staff’s eyes nearly went blank, “Bro! That is a restaurant receipt!” He even called him “Bro”.

“Right, if a restaurant even has it, why doesn’t such a large airport have one?” Zhang Ye said seriously.

The staff was at a loss for words and he did not know whether to laugh or cry. Having worked in the airport for so many years, this was the first time he met such an argumentative passenger. Your sister! You still dare say I’m new here? Which airport have you seen print out a flight itinerary with a scratch-it!

“Pfft!”

“Scratch-it?”

A few staff members near this counter nearly fainted upon hearing this!

Although this was Zhang Ye’s first time flying, he would not lack such common sense. The main reason was that he was drunk and saying alcohol-induced words.

It was a domestic short haul flight so this small aircraft did not have first-class, only business class. When he saw the business class people heading towards the gate to get their tickets checked, Zhang Ye also went forward but was stopped because he was not in business class. In his daze, Zhang Ye somehow managed to board the plane and found his seat. His seat was by the window so he leaned onto the window and fell asleep while still muttering. It was clearly in economy class, so he said stuff like, “Such a big company and yet they are so stingy to not buy a business class ticket, so mean!”

……

In the air.

The passengers were riding through the clouds.

After an unknown period of time passed, Zhang Ye groggily woke up. He found his surroundings unstable, as they were sloshing around. The plane had clearly lifted off early on.

Someone pushed his head.

So it was because he had been woken up by someone.

“Hey, wake up.” It was a girl’s soothing voice.

After sleeping for approximately 1-2 hours, Zhang Ye suddenly felt awake from his stupor. The first thing he remembered was him quarreling with the staff in the airport’s hall about the scratch-it on his flight itinerary. Zhang Ye only felt embarrassment and only when he realized that he was still wearing sunglasses did he heave a sigh of relief. Thankfully he was wearing sunglasses, so that others couldn’t recognize him. If it was reported, how was he to carry on living. Hai, alcohol sure isn’t a good thing!

Eh?

Am I lying down? The seats in economy class can also go all the way down?

“Wake up!” The girl’s voice sounded angry as Zhang Ye’s head was being pushed again.

“What are you doing?” Zhang Ye also turned angry. He was sleeping soundly, why the f**k would you push me? Did I provoke you? He opened his heavy eyelids and looked forward. This glance didn’t matter much, but it stunned Zhang Ye. His eyes enlarged as he stared. All his tipsiness was now gone, yet his brain seemed to still be drunk and a bit confused. He was wondering if he was still dreaming!

“Still talking about doing what? You have been lying on my legs, so what do you think you are doing?” The girl’s angry voice came. It was very close to him as her breath surged towards Zhang Ye’s face.

Zhang Ye’s face turned pale. It was as embarrassing as it could be. Only then did he know how serious the situation was. Your sister! This bro is already a star now and a famous host. I can’t lose my face. Zhang Ye’s brain was extremely fast so he thought up numerous ideas in a split second. He wanted to find a way to allay this embarrassing situation. He could not be accused of being a gangster!

Play dumb?

Acting cute?

Pretend to be crazy?

Pretend that he did not know anything?

According to that plan, it could very well resolve the situation as long as Zhang Ye raised his head in his daze and said one sentence to that girl, “Daddy, do you know how to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”.

This sentence would definitely let Zhang Ye get out of this situation but he was too ashamed to say it.

Zhang Ye did not say anything and quickly got off the girl’s body.

The girl was wearing a pair of sunglasses, so her expression could not be read. Besides wearing a short skirt in late autumn, she also wore a black trench coat.

“Sorry, sorry.” Zhang Ye said in embarrassment.

The girl waved her hand seeing that he apologized, “Forget it, forget it.”

Zhang Ye added on, “Uh, friend, how did I end up lying down?”

The girl pushed her sunglasses and said, “How do I know. When I came, I saw you sleeping while leaning on the window. I also slept but after sleeping for a while, there was one more person on my legs.”

Zhang Ye said, “I drank a bit too much before boarding. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright.” The girl was rather reasonable, “When you are out, it’s inevitable. As long we empathize with one another.”

Only then did Zhang Ye look at her face. Although the sunglasses blocked a large portion of her face, it could not block her beauty. She was definitely a beauty and was not just any ordinary beauty. This sort of beauty was rarely seen by Zhang Ye even in the entertainment circles. Only Rao Aimin and Zhang Yuanqi could compare.

Eh…why does she look so familiar.

Zhang Ye stared at her without blinking, this person…

“What’s the matter? What are you looking at me for?” The girl frowned.

Zhang Ye suddenly expressed shock and pointed at her, “Hey! Dong Shanshan?”

When the girl heard this, she was dumbfounded, “You can recognize me even like this? Have you seen my shows? It can’t be. My shows don’t even broadcast in the capital!”

“What show? You even went on shows?” Zhang Ye took off his sunglasses.

When Dong Shanshan saw Zhang Ye, she also suddenly laughed and pointed at him, “Zhang Ye?”

* In China, small businesses, especially eateries, would try to evade taxes by not providing official receipts, hence under-claiming their revenue. To combat this, the Chinese government includes scratch-its on receipts to encourage consumers to request a receipt from the business. You can read more about it here.