Stranger Danger

Chapter 405: The Treant of Much Drivel

Despite its tremendous strength, the Treant of Much Drivel actually loathed hurting humans. In that sense, it was practically harmless. What it did enjoy was spouting nonsense and bragging like its life depended on it. That was why it was nicknamed the Boastful Treant. If it encountered a human, it would brag about something and expect the human to outbrag it. If the human failed, then it would detain them and spout even more drivel out of its wooden mouth. The human wouldn’t be able to leave until they had outbragged the Treant of Much Drivel.

Once upon a time, a poor guy was caught by the Treant of Much Drivel and went insane because of it.

The problem was that the Treant of Much Drivel was extremely good at spouting nonsense and boasting. No one knew where it learned its “techniques”, only that few people ever managed to outtalk the Treant of Much Drivel.

In short, it was a major pain in the ass for anyone who had the misfortune of running into it.

“Hahaha! I wonder what his answer would be?” The Harmony King laughed. “Personally, I wouldn’t know how to get through this! Nephew Fang, if you are Ye Qing, how would you answer the Treant of Much Drivel?”

Fang Muyun replied in a gentle voice, “I’m a scholar. I never lie.”

The Harmony King fell silent for a brief moment. That… sounds like a lie though? [1]

“What about you, Mister Nine?” The Harmony King asked Chu Wangsun next.

The scholar answered without looking up from his book, “I would say, ‘You’re actually penniless.’”

The Harmony King: “...”

Fang Muyun: “...”

Lei Xiaodan: “...”

The homework is to make a boast, and your answer is… truth and dare? Seriously?

“Well, what about you, Jianglong?” The Harmony King looked at Hong Jianglong next.

Hong Jianglong coughed. “Ahem, I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I can’t answer that question. I’ve never been rich, so I don’t even know how it feels like to be rich.”

When Lei Xiaodan sensed the Harmony King’s gaze, he hurriedly added, “I can’t answer that question either, Your Highness. I too am a pauper.”

“Boring!” The Harmony King complained before directing his attention back to Ye Qing.

On the screen, Ye Qing was bowing his head and looking thoughtful. Then, he said slowly, “I’m not very rich myself, but when are you paying me back the money you owe?”

The Treant of Much Drivel fell silent.

The Harmony King fell silent.

Everyone on the mountain fell silent.

The answer… was perfect. No matter how wealthy you are, how could you possibly be wealthier than your creditor?

Sensing its brethren’s defeat, the second Treant of Much Drivel stepped up and started, “I’m very powerful. When I yawn, clear qi rises to the sky, murky qi sink to the earth, and Original Chaos is created. When I open my eyes, the sun rises, the moon falls, and the world is filled with light. When I make a small turn, the earth rips asunder, and the heavens weep in sorrow. When I lose a few strands of hair, plants flourish, and mountains undulate. When I take a piss, it becomes a raging sea that threatens to flood the world. When I sigh, the wind howls, and nowhere is safe from my breath. When I fall asleep, the moon rises, the sun falls, and the world sinks into darkness.”

“Are you more powerful than me?”

“Heavens above! It might as well call itself the great Pangu!” The Harmony King shook his head in disbelief and tried to come up with an answer. Just a few seconds later, he shook his head again and gave up.

However, he quickly perked up when he recalled that he wanted Ye Qing to lose. “There’s no way he can solve this, can he?!”

The rest of the spectators were watching Ye Qing curiously as well.

On the screen, Ye Qing smirked and answered unhurriedly, “First there was the Treant of Much Drivel, then the world. Now go and pour me a cup of tea, disciple.”

The Treant of Much Drivel: “...” How did I suddenly become his junior?

The Harmony King slapped his thighs in realization and guffawed. “That’s it! Of course the master is greater than the disciple! And just in case the Treant of Much Drivel argues that the disciple may surpass the master, he intentionally affirmed its drivel that it came before the world! So what if the Treant of Much Drivel created the world? He would still be the one who created the one who created the world! What an interesting brat, hahaha!”

Lei Xiaodan echoed in agreement. “Young Ye’s answer is definitely interesting.”

Ye Qing had no idea that he was being watched by a bunch of big bosses. After soundly trouncing the two Treants of Much Drivel, he lifted his head and declared haughtily, “You’re a hundred years too early to outbrag me, you talking trees!”

Then, he swaggered away amidst the treant’s look of adoration.

After he was completely out of the Strangers’ view, Ye Qing finally allowed himself to break out in cold sweat. To be honest, victory had not come to him nearly as easy as he made it looked. The problem was that the Treant of Much Drivel could boast just about anything and everything. Had they boasted about something he had little to no knowledge about, it would’ve been so much harder for him to think of a winning solution.

More importantly, if he was disqualified from the competition because he ran out of time, Gu Suitang would definitely throw him into a cooking pot and boil him for dinner!

That was why Ye Qing ran like his life depended on it as soon as he escaped from the Treants of Much Drivel. He only had two or so hours left now. He had to give it his all.

It wasn’t even his fault that he was late. Prior to entering the Martial Tower, Ye Qing had given the old watchman five jars of delicious wine on the condition that he let him out exactly two hours before the Hidden Dragon Meet began. However, the old man got drunk and only recalled the promise six bloody hours after the tournament began! He even had the gall to say that it was his fault for giving him wine that was “too good for his ilk”!

He was so pissed he almost jumped the old man, damn the consequences. Luckily, the consequences and the fact that the old man would wipe the floor with him kept him from doing the stupid. Even so, he was over six hours late by the time he finally arrived at the scene, so he had no choice but to make his climb as quickly as possible.

Luckily for him, most of the Strangers he encountered so far were present in the books he read. He was able to exploit their behavior and weaknesses and overcome them in the shortest amount of time possible.

“Wait a second,” Ye Qing suddenly realized something, “I’m near the finish line even though I’m six hours late. That must mean that most people have already crossed the finish line. No, no! I need to go faster!”

Desperate, Ye Qing mustered his vigor and pushed himself even more.

At the peak, the Harmony King and everyone else were stunned when Ye Qing suddenly sped up even more. “He could go faster? Did he eat a pill when we weren’t looking?”

If they knew what Ye Qing was thinking, they would’ve called him crazy.

Thanks to this new burst of speed, Ye Qing caught up to Yang Zhao, Luo Zhan, Jian Wusheng, Chu Qingge, Qi Xuanyun and the other top contenders in just half a teatime. At this point of the climb, they were just one step away from reaching the peak.

The final obstacle they faced was worthy of its title, however. Yang Zhao ran into a stone giant called the Rock Giant, a Phenomenon-class Stranger. It was impervious to most weapons and the elements, and its strength was quite formidable. Even if Yang Zhao managed to crush one part of its body, it simply needed to roll across the rocky floor to heal its injuries. It was an incredibly formidable opponent.

Luo Zhan’s opponent was a strange quagmire with pale, bloated bodies floating on its surface. As soon as he got within a certain range, the corpses would open their eyes and stare at him, and he would experience various symptoms of drowning. For example, his body slowly grew bloated and waterlogged. The closer he got to the quagmire, the worse the phenomenon became.

The good news was that he returned to normal as soon as he left the quagmire’s influence. The bad news was that the quagmire was large enough that circumventing it would take a considerable amount of time; long enough that he wasn’t sure if he could reach the peak in time.

This meant that the only way forward was to face the dangers head on and cross the quagmire by force.

Jian Wusheng’s final obstacle was a Sword Golem. A fairly rare Stranger, a Sword Golem is created when their sword spirit takes control of the deceased warrior’s body as pilot it like a puppet. The deceased warrior is usually a champion in the Way of the Sword.

A Sword Golem usually retained its previous cultivation, insight and understanding of the sword, which was why it was incredibly powerful. It was obsessed with dueling people to the death and honing its sword intent.

The Sword Golemn Jian Wusheng ran into was a Spirit Master in life, so the Sword Golemn was a Phenomenon-class Stranger. As its sword intent was surprisingly similar to Jian Wusheng’s, the duo were like sworn enemies from the moment they met.

The Sword Golem possessed a stronger cultivation and powerful sword intent, but its movements were pretty stiff because its body was dead.

Jian Wusheng’s sword art was nimble and exquisite, but he was one cultivation stage weaker than the Sword Golem.

Both sides had their advantages and disadvantages, so they were locked in a stalemate for the moment.

Chu Qingge didn’t run into a Stranger. Instead, she was trapped inside a great array. She had to navigate through the array while braving deadly attacks of wind, lightning, water and fire. The dangers were everywhere.

But luckily for her, the dangers of the array were overt and direct. They were neither strange nor unpredictable. That was why she was currently the most hopeful of them all to reach the peak first.

Qi Xuanyun was being stalled by a river. A river he couldn’t seem to pass no matter what he tried.

The river was only three meters wide. Even an ordinary person can easily jump such a distance. But no matter how hard Qi Xuanyun jumped, he always landed right at the center of the river.

Not only that, he started sinking as soon as he fell into the river. It had nothing to do with his ability to swim. Any action he took that wasn’t swimming back to the shore would only cause him to sink faster.

Ordinary vessels and Strange Artifacts didn’t work either. They sank as soon as they made contact with the water. It was pretty similar to the Weak Water[2].

After a number of futile attempts, Qi Xuanyun decided to walk around the river since he couldn’t cross it. But again, he couldn’t find the source even though the river didn’t look very big at all. His cute face scrunched up like he might break into tears, the poor Taoist was currently sitting by the riverside and racking his brain for an idea.

As for Ye Qing, he ran into a singing woman. She was gorgeous like she was the embodiment of all that was perfect in the world, and her singing was so melodious one could drown in it.

Ye Qing blanched when he saw her, however. His face had never looked this ugly since he began climbing the mountain.

At the peak, Hong Jianglong and Lei Xiaodan blanched as well. They hurriedly blocked out the woman’s phantasmal voice.

“What are you doing, Jianglong? This is the first time I heard such a beautiful voice! I wanted to listen to her song until the end!” The Harmony King raged.

The others also echoed in agreement. “Yeah. It almost feels like it doesn’t belong in this world.”

“It’s the kind of singing that will soothe the ears for at least three days straight.”

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Jianglong.”

In response, Hong Jianglong sneered. “You certainly won’t remain in this world for much longer if we hadn’t blocked out her voice.”

“Er… What do you mean?” Someone asked when they realized that Hong Jianglong wasn’t playing around.

“That’s the Age Songstress, isn’t she?” Fang Muyun spoke up suddenly.

Hong Jianglong shot him a surprised look. “A good answer, Mister Farseeing. That is the Age Songstress.”

“Age Songstress?” The Harmony King asked.

“That’s right. That woman’s an Age Songstress,” Fang Muyun answered. “However, I’ve only read it in a book before. Do correct me if I make a mistake, Lord Hong.”

“You are too humble, Mister Farseeing. Please, speak away,” Hong Jianglong replied.

Fang Muyun began his explanation, “The Age Songstress is a powerful Stranger who possesses an inhumanly beautiful appearance and a voice to die for, literally. She can usually be found singing at the peak of a mountain. Those who heard her singing would be hypnotized by it, and they would gradually grow old until they die.”

“In the book, there is a quote that went something like this: A song rides the wind, jubilant and free. But listen not to this song, for each verse brings you one step closer to death.”

“That’s why Lord Hong blocked out the sound. It’s to save everyone’s lives.”

The Harmony King gasped audibly, “Is… Is Nephew Fang telling the truth?”

“It is exactly as Mister Farseeing says,” Hong Jianglong confirmed. “In fact, the Age Songstress’ singing is a powerful curse. Those who heard her singing would continuously lose their life force and lifespan until they die.”

“Heavens above!” The Harmony King exclaimed in horror before touching his face and worrying that he might have grown some wrinkles.

Although the Harmony King was almost fifty[3], his skin was as smooth as a babe. It was because he took great care of his skin, and as a member of the royal family had access to all kinds of life-extending treasures. He let out a sigh of relief only when he found none.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness. We heard the singing through an array, so it’s already weaker than normal. And since Brother Hong blocked it out at first notice, the most you should feel is a bit of fatigue,” Lei Xiaodan consoled.

“I see! No wonder I’m suddenly aching all over,” the Harmony King exclaimed in realization.

1. For those who might not get the nuances, it’s also a viable answer because it is pure-fucking-bullshit. ☜

2. Refer to Chapter 281. ☜

3. Huh. I thought he was older because the author kept describing him as old, but he’s not even fifty? Well, we’ll see if I have to correct this to sixty or something. ☜