Stranger Danger

Chapter 104: King of Couplets

After everyone was gone, the Riddler looked at Ye Qing with a surprising amount of approval and said, “I didn’t think you’d be such a kind soul, young man! I have spoken with countless challengers in my life, and most of them are completely selfish and cared only for themselves. I have seen husband and wife who turned on one another, best friends who stabbed each other in the back, and father and son pretending as if they were complete strangers all in the name of self-interest. However, I’ve never met someone who would give up his hard-earned fortune to help others!”

“Haha, you flatter me, Riddler. I’m not nearly as kind-hearted as you think,” Ye Qing replied with a sigh. Seriously, his heart was aching so bad at the loss that he could hardly breathe. “I’m just doing the best that I can… or maybe I’m just an idiot.”

“You’re just doing the best that you can? You’re just an idiot? Hahaha!” Riddler guffawed. “Then allow me to say this as well. Maybe it’s because I’ve met too many selfish and treacherous people in my life, but I think that meeting an ‘idiot’ once in a while isn’t too bad after all!”

“You know what? I feel like being ‘stupid’ today, so I’m going to make you this offer: if you can answer my riddle correctly, then I’ll give you the Astral Refinement stage cultivation art you’re searching for. What do you say, young man?”

“Sure… wait, what? Y-You’re not kidding, are you?” Ye Qing stared wide-eyed at the Riddler in disbelief.

The old man smiled. “I’m serious. But ah, you mustn’t ask for help from the Book Sprite hiding in your Nature’s Shell. You must answer my riddle via your own capabilities.”

“Ahaha, you found out?” Ye Qing rubbed his nose awkwardly. He thought the Riddler hadn’t noticed since he hadn’t been punished for cheating, but clearly he was mistaken. “Okay! I accept the challenge! Please ask me the riddle!”

The Riddler nodded and began, “I am round when drawn, squiggly when written, short during winter, and long during summer. What am I?”

As he spoke, the ocean of clouds beneath the cliff churned and turned into the Riddler’s words.

For a moment, Ye Qing didn’t say anything. Then, he blurted as if he couldn’t believe his ears, “A-Are you sure you gave me the right riddle? Scratch that, you wouldn\'t happen to have Wang for your last name, would you?”

The Riddler looked utterly confused. “Excuse me? My surname is definitely not Wang. I am born from the Mountain of Riddles. I have no parents, name or surname. Even the ‘Riddler’ is just a moniker.”

“R-Right. Forget what I said,” stammered Ye Qing with an awkward chuckle. For a second there, he really thought he had encountered someone from his old world.

The reason Ye Qing had such a strange thought was because the Riddler’s riddle was, in fact, identical to a well-known riddle from his old world. Not only was it crafted by the famous philosopher Wang Anshi, and it was accompanied by a famous tale. Legend says that Wang Anshi had a poet friend called Wang Jifu. Not only was his friend a great poet, he was also an expert in crafting riddles. When they were together, the two friends often passed the time by challenging each other to various riddles.

One evening, Wang Jifu visited Wang Anshi at his place like usual, and it so happened that Wang Anshi was thinking up a new riddle. As soon as Wang Jifu took his seat, Wang Anshi riddled him without even bothering to offer a greeting, “I am round when drawn, squiggly when written, short during winter, and long during summer. What am I?”

It didn’t take long for Wang Jifu to figure out the answer, but instead of answering the riddle normally, Wang Jifu had a moment of inspiration and countered,

“Never resting, never still.

Moving silently from hill to hill.

It does not walk, run or trot.

All is cool where it is not.

What am I?

I am the answer to your riddle!” [1]

Naturally, Wang Anshi was extremely impressed. Not only had Wang Jifu answered his riddle correctly, he had done it by crafting a better riddle on the spot. The philosopher couldn’t stop clapping his hands and praising his friend for a time, and their little bout would eventually go down in history as a famous folklore.

On a related note, the answer to both riddles was, of course, the “Sun.”

“Er, how about you shoot me another riddle?” Ye Qing asked. As a bonafide Chinese, it would be an understatement to say that the riddle was easy. In fact, it was so easy that he felt like he would lose something important if he took the freebie.

The Riddler misunderstood his intentions, however. Stroking his beard with an extremely pleased look on his face, he said, “Is it too difficult for you, young man? How disappointing! It is a riddle that even a child could solve! In that case, you must be punished for failing to provide an answer! Don’t look at me like that, the rules are the rules even up here!”

“...”

Ye Qing stared at the old man. I’m trying to be fair here, and yet you would punish me for my virtue? Fine then! The gloves are off!

Ye Qing cleared his throat and copied Wang Jifu’s answer word to word,

“Never resting, never still.

Moving silently from hill to hill.

It does not walk, run or trot.

All is cool where it is not.

What am I?

I am the answer to your riddle!”

The Riddler was completely caught off guard by Ye Qing’s answer. For a long time, he couldn’t speak at all. Ye Qing was extremely pleased with the Riddler’s expression. Hehe! How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?

A long time later, the Riddler finally clapped his hands and praised out loud, “Brilliant! Most brilliant! I haven’t been impressed like this in a long time! In the future, I’m so setting up a challenge where the challengers must answer a riddle with a riddle of their own! Oh, I can’t wait!”

“...”

My deepest condolence to all the brothers and sisters who’ll be climbing the Mountain of Riddles in the future!

“I was going to give you an ordinary Astral Refinement stage cultivation art, but your answer is so brilliant and enlightening that I’ve decided to give you something slightly above average! Thanks again, young man!” The Riddler declared smilingly.

Ye Qing perked up when he heard this. Wait a second. I can improve my reward? I can work with this! He said tentatively, “Say, you’ve been doing the riddling this whole time, right? Why don’t I shoot you a couple of riddles, and you try to solve them? If you manage to get them all, then there will be no doubt that you’re truly the greatest Riddler in the whole world!”

“Hoh? Interesting!” An intrigued smile crossed the Riddler’s lips. For obvious reasons, no one had ever dared to riddle the Riddler. He doubted that the idea had even crossed anyone’s mind until now. But it sounded fun, so why not?

“What if I couldn’t answer them all?”

Grinning, Ye Qing rubbed his hands together and said, “If you fail, I wouldn’t mind receiving a better reward, if you get what I mean. You’re a rich man with an entire floating mountain to yourself anyway. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving up a possession or two!”

“Hahaha!” The Riddler guffawed at Ye Qing’s undisguised greed. “Cunning brat! If you lose, all I receive is a title I already know I deserve, but if I lose, I have to give up some of my possessions? This isn’t very fair, isn’t it?”

Ye Qing hurriedly buttered up the old man, “It can’t be helped! The best item I own is nothing compared to the worst item you have, so what’s the point of putting them on the betting table? Can’t you overlook this bit of unfairness just once?”

The Riddler chuckled. “Fine, fine. As your senior, I suppose I can surrender the advantage for once.” Of course, there was also the fact that the Riddler was fully confident in his abilities. He was called the Riddler, for heavens’ sake. Was there any riddle in the world that he couldn’t solve?

Ye Qing took a moment to recall a handful of famous riddles before starting, “What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening?”

“A human!” The Riddler answered immediately.

“Not bad, not bad!” Ye Qing praised. The first riddle was just to gauge the Riddler’s knowledge; he wasn’t expecting it to actually confound him. A few seconds passed, and he fired his second riddle,

“There is a house. One enters it blind and comes out seeing. What is it?”

The Riddler stroked his beard and thought for a bit. Then, he answered, “A school!”

“As I was going to Anyang,

I met a man with seven wives,

Each wife had seven sacks,

Each sack had seven cats,

Each cat had seven kits:

Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,

How many were there going to Anyang?”

“One!”

……

Things were not going as expected. Ye Qing had asked a dozen more riddles after the first three, but the Riddler was able to answer them all without pause. It would seem he would have to crank up the difficulty some more. He pretended to wipe his forehead to show that he was impressed with the Riddler’s knowledge before shooting another riddle,

“You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why?”

“Huh…” This time, the Riddler did not answer immediately. His fishing rod twitched imperceptibly, and the ocean of clouds churned without a sound. It was as if the objects had a mind, and they were afraid to break the Riddler’s train of thought.

A dozen breaths later, the Riddler finally answered, “Because all the people are married! You almost got me talking about boats and sinking, but the keyword here is ‘single!’”

Seriously? He got that? That stumped me so hard when I first saw it on the internet!

Ye Qing took a moment to collect himself before firing the last bullet in his chamber, “What are the next three letters in this combination? O, T ,T, F, F, S, S!”

The Riddler fell into thought once more, but this time he took more time to think than any other riddler Ye Qing had asked previously. Feeling that he had finally stumped the old man, he rubbed his nose proudly and thought, Finally. This riddle had stumped so many keyboard warriors that it was left unanswered on the internet for weeks before someone finally got it. You may be the Riddler, but not even you can—

“The answer is E, N, T! Since each letter represents the first letter in the written numbers: one, two, three, four, five and so on, and the next three numbers in that combination are eight, nine and ten, the answer can only be E, N and T! Hahaha! That is a great one, young man!”

“...”

Ye Qing’s jaw lay somewhere on the floor. Somehow, the Riddler had figured out the answer before he even finished his inner monologue! How!?

“Your bag of riddles is quite impressive, young man. Not only are they completely new to me, some of them seriously stimulate the brain! Do you have more?” The Riddler urged with clear excitement.

“Hahaha, sorry, I don’t think I have anything else that can stump you, elder one. You truly are the greatest Riddler in the world!” Ye Qing threw in the towel. It was folly to challenge the Riddler to a riddle contest after all!

He hadn’t given up yet, however. “What about a couplet challenge? Dare you answer my couplets and become the greatest couplet master in the world as well, Riddler?”

“Couplets?” The Riddler smiled. “I’m definitely not as good with couplets than with riddles… but why not?”

“Okay then! Here I come!” Eat this! “The first line is: a mountain of books has a way and diligence is the path!” [2]

A shudder coursed through the Riddler’s body, and for the first time he lost his smile completely. A long, long time later, the Riddler finally answered, “The sea of learning has no end and hard work is the boat.”

Ye Qing thought that the couplet was enough to get the old man, but he was even better than he expected. Not wanting to waste time shooting a dozen more couplets until he finally stumped the Riddler, Ye Qing went straight for the kill,

“Next! The first line is: where smoke locked pond willow! In structure, the five words use the five elements, Earth, Fire, Metal, Water and Wood as radicals, and in terms of artistic conception, it depicts a quiet pond in front of the courtyard, and the light mist of cooking smoke lingers around the pond. Now, please give me the second line!”

“Where smoke locked pond willow?” The Riddler furrowed his brow so tightly that his wrinkles were all bunched up together. The ocean of clouds beneath the cliff churned harder than ever before, and countless ancient seal scripts and words took form from time to time as if reflecting his thoughts.

There were a few times the Riddler opened his mouth as if he was about to voice the answer, but he always stopped at the last moment and whispered, “No, that doesn’t work…”

“Hehehe! Is that too difficult? That’s fine. I can give you a second chance.” Ye Qing grinned in delight. “The first line is: A lonely widow rests against a cold empty window. Can you give me the second line?”

The Riddler: “...”

Ye Qing’s grin widened. “Is that too hard as well? That’s fine, how about something simpler? The first line is: In a painting, a monk paints on a lotus blossom. What is the second line?”

At this point, the Riddler’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of their sockets. Like hell it’s simpler! Every single one of these couplets could confound even the greatest scholars! Also, I’m the Riddler, not the Couplet Master!

Then, he realized something. Wait a second, where the hell did he even get these couplets? I’d bet my fortune that they don’t even exist in the Sea of Couplets!

“Where did you get these couplets?” The Riddler asked in a raspy voice.

Ye Qing turned his nose all the way up to the sky and laughed. “Are you implying something, Riddler? I created all these couplets myself! To tell you the truth, my nickname is the King of Couplets, and everyone calls me the Couplet Coupler!”

“Anyway, let’s get back to our challenge, shall we? Don’t worry, I promise I’ll go easy on you this time. The first line is—”

Ye Qing was just about to kick the dog when it’s down when suddenly, the Riddler waved his sleeve at him. The next thing he knew, he was back on the edge of Redstone Forest.

“Not fair! Violence is not the answer! How is ousting me from your mountain just because I beat you civilized?!”

“Wait a second. Where’s my reward? My cultivation art?”

“Elder one, no, big brother, no, ancestor, please—!”

1. This is NOT Wang Jifu’s answer, by the way. His actual answer is a short poem that breaks down the character “鱼” until all that is left is the character “日”. It is incredibly brilliant and also completely untranslatable in English, so I simply lifted a random sun riddle from the internet for this.

2. Yeah I lifted this from somewhere, the original line:下望江流，江楼千古，江流千古” just went completely over my head, so