Stranger Danger

Chapter 46: I’m A Magnanimous Man

“If the Bellyfish eggs successfully infiltrate the victim’s stomach, they would hatch and grow into a fish in just a very short time. This is why the Stranger came to be known as the Bellyfish.”

Ye Qing’s voice was clear and soothing, and his face was calm and collected. It did nothing to chase away the dark clouds hanging over everyone else’s head.

“It should be clear now why a human, animal or Stranger who accidentally drank the Bellyfish eggs would find their bellies swelling rapidly until they resemble a woman who is ten months pregnant. On a related note, it is why the Bellyfish is also known as the Impregnation Fish.”

“If not treated in time, the Bellyfishes would continue to grow until they literally burst out of the victim’s stomach. Should this happen next to the stream—and it should, as their growth rate is simply insane—they would return to it, lay new eggs, and restart the cycle all over again.”

When Ye Qing was finally finished, Yan Yufei said severely, “So, you’re saying that Luo Fang and Lin Shaobo’s stomachs will explode if they do not receive treatment in time?”

“That’s correct!”

“That’s terrifying!” The guard who was forced to stick his hand into the stream later exclaimed in horror.

Ye Qing nodded seriously. “I completely agree!”

The guard muttered under his breath, “If you agree, then why didn’t you stick your own hand into the stream?”

A grin spread across Ye Qing’s face. “It’s exactly because it’s scary that I used your hand to perform the experiment. Also, a demonstration is the only way I can prove that I am not a charlatan, isn’t it?”

The serious atmosphere turned awkward in an instant. There were few things more embarrassing than backbiting someone and getting caught red-handed!

“Oh right! I should remind you all that a Bellyfish egg is incredibly resilient. Anyone who’s cleaned themselves or drunk from this stream should consider themselves infected by it. It’s true that the rest of you aren’t showing any symptoms right now, but the eggs might be attached to your hands, and they’re too small for you to see. When you dig your nose, or clean your teeth, or eat your food, they will enter your stomach and… hehe, let’s just say a bunch of pregnant men would be quite a sight to behold…”

That was an understatement. The mere imagination of it sent chills through everyone’s spine.

“Ahhh!” Countless guards turned as white as a sheet as they exclaimed, “W-What should we do? I don’t want to die like this!”

“Indeed! What should you do, I wonder?” Ye Qing rubbed his nose with a wicked smirk on his face.

Yan Yufei abruptly bowed toward Ye Qing and implored, “Fri—no, Teacher Ye. I apologize on behalf of my unruly subordinates, so would you please save our lives? We would be eternally grateful if you do!”

Ye Qing lifted him back to an upright position and declared, “Why are you apologizing? Do I look like such a petty-minded person to you? You are too courteous, Lord Yan!”

“Anyway, it’s actually quite simple to eliminate any and all Bellyfish eggs that might have gotten on your hands. It’s true that the Bellyfish eggs are resilient and warmth-loving, but there’s only so much heat they can withstand. All you need to do is to hold your hands over a fire like when you boil your water or cook your rice, and the eggs would die off completely!”

Ye Qing’s grin widened. “And remember! You gotta bake it nice and long!”

In fact, there was a simpler, much painless way to remove the Bellyfish eggs. One simply needed to boil a pot of water that was slightly higher than body temperature and submerged their hands in it. The Bellyfish eggs would automatically detach themselves from the skin and enter the water.

I’m not going to tell them though! It’s not right to talk behind people’s back, and the only way they’re gonna learn is to do it the hard way!

These people called me a charlatan, but I’m still saving their lives and doing my best to correct their crooked behavior. I’m such a magnanimous man!

“...”

The thought of baking one’s hands over a fire alone was enough to inflict imaginary pain. It wasn’t that they disbelieved Ye Qing, but the fact that the young man was grinning like a Cheshire cat made them really skeptical that it was the only way to disinfect their hands.

We suspect you’re plotting something, but we don’t have proof!

“Thank you, Teacher Ye!” Yan Yufei said gratefully before glancing at Luo Fang and Lin Shaobo. “If you can save them as well…”

“But of course!” Ye Qing declared confidently. He took a spin around the stream and picked up a couple of grass from the riverbank. He then said, “Please start a fire next to the patients. The reason their bellies grew every time they were touched is because of your body temperature. The Bellyfish reacts to heat, so an increase in temperature—even a minor one—is going to activate them even more!”

Yan Feng nodded. This explained why Luo Fang and Lin Shaobo’s bellies had grown when he was inspecting them, and when they were trying to carry them to the carriage. He ordered, “You four! Go gather some wood and start a fire as soon as possible!”

“At once!” The men received their order and acted quickly. It wasn’t long before a fire was burning right next to the two guards. Luo Fang and Lin Shaobo’s stomachs started moving about as if countless things were wriggling inside. Not only that, their stomachs were still growing in size and torturing the duo even more as a matter of course.

“What do we do now, Teacher Ye?” Yan Yufei asked hurriedly. The fire was increasing their body temperature and causing the Bellyfishes in their stomachs to grow faster than ever before. At this rate, they were going to die in a matter of minutes.

“Don’t worry!” Ye Qing said calmly while crushing the grass he had picked up earlier. He then fed it to the two guards and waited for the magic to happen. There was a tremble before the two men began cooling down at an unnatural rate. It wasn’t long before their lips were blue, and their faces were deathly white. Then, fist-sized bumps started appearing all over their stomachs almost as if the Bellyfishes in their stomachs were trying to get out!

“Aaaahhh! It hurts! It hurts!” Both men screamed on top of their lungs.

“Teacher Ye…” Yan Feng looked increasingly anxious as he looked back and forth between his men and Ye Qing.

“Don’t worry. The grass I just fed them is called the Frostgrass. Cold by nature and slightly toxic, they usually grow next to a river or a stream. Consuming large amounts of Frostgrass will freeze one’s blood and lower one’s body temperature, and the Bellyfishes cannot grow bigger at temperatures below body temperature.”

Ye Qing ignored the two screaming men and continued, “Now that their bodies are much colder, the Bellyfishes will want to seek out a new source of heat, namely the campfire burning right next to them. That is why the Bellyfishes are attempting to break out of the patients’ stomachs to get to it.”

“Knowing that, all we need to do is…”

Ye Qing crouched down and lifted Luo Fang’s lower body into the air. While pressing one knee against Luo Fang’s stomach, Ye Qing wrenched his mouth open and slapped him hard on the back.

“Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”

The next moment, everyone’s eyes widened like saucers as countless fishes about the size of two fingers poured out of Luo Fang’s mouth and into the campfire. The Bellyfishes were utterly fearless even though entering the fire meant their doom. It wasn’t long before a delicious scent began permeating throughout the whole camp!

Luo Fang’s stomach shrank visibly as Ye Qing continued to slap his back. The pain that seemed to be a permanent fixture on his face gradually subsided as well. The crowd was breathing a sigh of relief when suddenly, Ye Qing said, “The Bellyfish is considered to be a rare delicacy because it has a lot of meat but few bones, and because it doesn’t have a fishy scent at all. Does anyone want to give it a try?”

“... Why are you all looking at me like that? I’m telling the truth! There are tons of rich people out there who can’t go a week without a delicious serving of Bellyfish. Don’t question my knowledge with your ignorance!” Ye Qing shook his head in mock disappointment.

Everyone rolled their eyes at him in unison. If it’s that tasty, then why aren’t you eating it yourself, huh? How stupid do you think we are?

“Ahem…” It was at this moment Yan Yufei let out a quiet cough and ordered, “Yan Feng, you saw how it’s done. Go help Shaobo!”

“Yes, my lord!” Yan Feng replied before mimicking Ye Qing’s actions. It wasn’t long before the Bellyfishes in Lin Shaobo’s stomach were expelled as well.

A while later, when the two guards had stopped vomiting Bellyfishes, and their stomachs had returned to normal, Ye Qing gently put Luo Fang down and clapped his hands. “It’s done! There should be no Bellyfishes left in their stomachs. On the off chance I’m wrong, one or two Bellyfishes won’t be enough to kill them.”

“In fact, I would highly recommend keeping a Bellyfish in your stomach. Anytime you feel like eating fish, you can simply spit it out and cook it into a delicious meal. Like any fish, it can be steamed, braised, fried and more. You won’t find another Stranger as convenient as this!”

“...” No one responded to Ye Qing’s joke as a matter of course. They were starting to realize that he was far more wicked and playful than he looked!

“Boring!” Ye Qing booed the surrounding guards but said, “Anyway, they’re safe now. They should recover after just a day or two of rest.”

“Yang Guan, Chao Fang, take Luo Fang and Shaobo somewhere where they can rest and cook them some porridge!” Yan Yufei ordered before looking at the rest of the group. “Also, anyone who’s used the stream this morning should bake their hands over the fire! You don’t want to get ‘pregnant’, do you?”

Six guards immediately grimaced like they had eaten an entire plate of lemons, but they obediently walked over to the campfire and stuck their hands into the flames. It hurt like a bitch as a matter of course, but no one dared to remove their hands early. Pain was temporary, but the shame of getting “pregnant” and dying from an exploding belly was something that would be remembered for eternity. They could only endure the licking flames and pray that it would be enough.

From Ye Qing’s perspective, it almost looked like the guards were cooking their hands like barbecued chicken. It was very entertaining to say the least. He watched them intently while smiling like the Chesire’s cat!

Yan Yufei and Yan Feng could only shake his heads at Ye Qing’s undisguised schadenfreude. When Yan Yufei decided that enough was enough, he coughed to catch Ye Qing’s attention and said in a grateful tone, “Thank you for helping us, Teacher Ye! This would’ve ended poorly if not for you!”

“You’re welcome, but I was just doing what I can!” Ye Qing smiled back. “Also, it was a pretty fun experience for me!”

“...”

I knew you were toying with us! I even have a confession straight from your own mouth! I can’t say anything about it though!

“Regardless, you still saved our lives, and such kindness is greater than the heavens themselves. We will never forget it!” Yan Yufei said solemnly before changing the subject. “By the way, my men told me you’re a scholar, and that you’re heading to Anyang to further your studies. Is that correct?”

Ye Qing nodded.

“That’s good. It so happens that we are heading to Anyang as well. If you don’t mind, would you like to travel with us? We can watch your back, and you ours!” Yan Yufei invited.

Ye Qing saw no reason to turn him down, so he nodded smilingly. “Sure. I’ll be in your care then!”

He was about to run out of food no thanks to a certain frog Stranger anyway. Since someone was offering to feed them, why not?

“Haha! It is our honor to be able to travel with you, Teacher Ye!” Yan Yufei declared with obvious delight.

Ye Qing smiled back and said, “Speaking of which, can you please address me by another name? A teacher is someone whose knowledge and experience have reached the level where they are qualified to enlighten others, and I’m definitely not qualified, not to mention that everyone here is my senior!”

“My name is Ye Qing, but I prefer to go by another moniker. Please address me as Joyless!”

Ye Qing was a strong believer that a man of the jianghu should have a jianghu moniker, which was why he decided to go with Joyless. It was his online nickname in his previous life, and it was, in his opinion, a cool and poetic name!

“Very well. Well met, Joyless!” Yan Yufei said with a wide smile, “You seem to know a lot of things for someone so young, Joyless. I’m sure you have a bright future ahead of you!”

Ye Qing replied humbly, “Oh, it’s nothing. I just read more books than most, that\'s all!”

“...”

I strongly suspect that this guy is gloating, but—oh who am I kidding, he’s one hundred percent gloating to our faces! We can’t say anything about it though!