So I'm a Snake, Who Cares?

It felt like they were criticizing me, so I rarely watched TV.

But it\'s not like I was doing anything productive either.

Mostly, I\'d lie in bed, scrolling through humor posts on community sites and chuckling.

Looking as unsightly and messy as dried ramen broth stuck to the floor, I was reading humor posts that day too.

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[Title: Distributing 240 among height+weight+d*ck length.txt]

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There seemed to be many useless humans like me.

That post with hardly any content had over 100 comments.

People were eagerly expressing their opinions that no one cared about.

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(Anonymous1) Average height 174, weight 50, d*ck 16 would work lol

(Anonymous2) 177 50 13

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These were utterly ordinary decisions.

In fact, it was probably because everyone had thought hard about it.

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(Anonymous5) Height 185, weight 40, d*ck 15

ㄴ(Anonymous1) Can you live normally at 185cm and 40kg? lol

ㄴ(Anonymous5) That\'s my current specs

(Anonymous7) 160cm, 45kg, and a king-sized 35cm

ㄴ(Anonymous1) Bullshit lololol

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Of course, there were many comments just throwing out random numbers.

Suddenly, I got a bit serious. If it were me, how would I distribute it?

It seemed difficult to be satisfied no matter how you distributed 240.

Just as I was about to hit the back button out of futility, the most upvoted comment caught my eye.

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(Anonymous32) 190cm 70kg -20cm

ㄴ(Anonymous31) What\'s with the minus, damn lol

ㄴ(Anonymous48) I like strong women.

ㄴ(Anonymous50) What kind of woman is 190cm and 70kg lol

ㄴ(Anonymous72) She could be an athlete. 190cm and 70kg is perfect.

ㄴ(Anonymous54) Genius

ㄴ(Anonymous12) Lololololol

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Wow, that\'s smart.

I couldn\'t help but admire it.

If you boldly give up one thing, you can gain in other areas.

Of course, what you had to give up was quite important, but...

I found that post interesting. As time passed, it scattered beyond memory.

Little did I know that post would come back to me much later.

==

It was all because of this floating before my eyes.

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[Distribute your stats.]

※Warning: Once set, stats cannot be modified. Distribute carefully.

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What should I call this semi-transparent window?

Status window? Status? Message?

This game-like thing was clearly reality.

If it\'s true that I died after being hit by a falling sign on my rare outing, this must be the afterlife.

"I hope I\'m not in a coma right now..."

It was a frightening thought.

But I heard people rushing to my fallen body shouting, "Aah, isn\'t that his brain?", so I must surely be dead.

Extremely tense, I read the text below.

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Distributable stats: 60 Distributable categories:

[Mental Strength] [Health] [Luck] [Potential] [Background]

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"What the..."

I\'d read many web novels about entering a game world after dying.

Web novels were also part of my time-killing repertoire.

But I\'m not good at games, and these stat categories seemed too strange to be a game.

Aren\'t strength, agility, intelligence, magic power, etc., more common?

I wondered what potential and background were about.

For now, 1 must be the lowest stat and 20 the best.

Fortunately, there was an explanation.

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※ The average stat for a standard human is 10.

Your next life will be determined by the distributed stats.

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So Mental Strength 10 means the mental strength of an average person. The same goes for Luck, Health, and the rest.

"Then how should I distribute this..."

As I muttered this, I noticed I was a bit excited.

It\'s a second chance, isn\'t it?

Although I died meaninglessly, even that wasn\'t very sad.

Rather, my heart was pounding.

First, I had to analyze what the unusual categories meant.

Mental Strength, Health, and Luck were intuitive.

All three are important categories.

Since the average for a person is 10, my stats in my past life were probably around 4, 5, and 7 respectively.

My mentality was rotten, my body was in poor health, and I was rather unlucky.

"Even if I divide it into fifths, 12 each isn\'t bad."

It\'s much better than distributing height, weight, and that length with the ambiguous number 240.

If I just divide everything by 12, I can live a life slightly better than average!

I was about to distribute 12 points evenly without hesitation.

"..."

But my fingers didn\'t move that way.

Compared to my sewer-like past life, even an average life would be a blessing.

But this time, it seems I wanted to live a special life.

"...Potential, Background."

Let\'s think about those first.

The term \'Potential\' is ambiguous. Is it like talent?

Potential for studying, potential for sports?

At least it was certainly something my past self didn\'t have.

I tried music, studied, and even tried art.

But I had no talent whatsoever, so I didn\'t do anything properly.

Of course, it was also because I lacked perseverance and gave up quickly.

On the other hand, Background was somewhat understandable.

Isn\'t this about the silver spoon thing?

Whose child you\'re born as and where you\'re born.

If the place I\'m reborn isn\'t the Earth I know, it might determine whether I\'m born as a commoner\'s child or a noble\'s.

\'Wait, if everything else is fine, can\'t I overcome this?\'

I suddenly had an epiphany.

Like that comment that boldly distributed d*ck length into negative and gained in other areas.

\'Mental Strength, Luck, Health, Potential. If I secure all of these, I can give up a bit on Background...\'

Unlike my pathetic life, my parents were wealthy.

Although they were divorced, I lived comfortably without want.

That\'s why I could live as a NEET.

Even if I\'m born with a slightly worse spoon, if I secure other stats, can\'t I live a fulfilling life?

After much deliberation, I made up my mind as I saw the status window ominously flickering.

And so, the distributed stats were...

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[Mental Strength] 20*

[Health] 10

[Luck] 9

[Potential] 20*

[Background] 1*

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"Oh..."

As I made this bold choice, the text of the categories filled to 20 became bold.

What was a bit unsettling was that the Background set to 1 also started flashing.

As expected, a voice was heard.

「Bold choice, you\'ve set Mental Strength to 20. You will possess an indomitable spirit. Your mind won\'t crumble even when facing the most abhorrent demon or the greatest god.」

What an atmospheric voice.

The explanation was more than satisfactory.

Mental Strength was the category I considered most important.

Because my mentality was garbage. I always gave up easily, got hurt alone, and was busy blaming others and the environment.

I won\'t live like that anymore.

「You\'ve been born with average health. You won\'t suffer from incurable diseases, but you won\'t be exceptionally healthy either.」

「You\'ve been born with average luck. You won\'t experience life-changing great fortune, nor will you suffer ridiculous misfortune.」

I was satisfied with average Health and Luck.

The most important things are Mental Strength and the Potential that can be developed through effort.

「Bold choice, you\'ve set Potential to 20. Your soul will possess limitless possibilities. If you don\'t give up, if great misfortune doesn\'t befall you, someday you will bloom brilliantly.」

Very good.

This life will be different.

This time, I won\'t live helplessly like before.

My heart was pounding, and the voice for the \'Background\' category I was most nervous about rang out.

「Extreme choice, you\'ve set Background to 1. You will be born in the worst environment. You\'ll have to take responsibility for the consequences. How your end will be, starting from the lowest point. It\'s still unknown.」

An extreme choice, huh.

Well, this much I had anticipated.

I probably can\'t even dream of being born into an ordinary family, and I might even start as an orphan without parents.

Since my Health isn\'t low, I hope I won\'t be born with any physical disabilities... but I\'ll be able to overcome it.

That anticipation.

That resolve.

How light they were, I would soon find out.

==

Sija Forest.

The Sija tree was a species that grew abundantly in this border region.

As it was a species that thrived in fertile soil and warm, humid climates, this forest was incredibly lush.

The densely grown leaves blocked almost all sunlight, making it dark even in broad daylight.

The ground was damp, and with little wind, moss grew everywhere.

There were people walking through this forest.

Although the Sija Forest was extremely dangerous, filled with magical beasts, their steps were unwavering.

Even the natives of this area are careful of their steps due to venomous snakes and insects.

But what is there to fear when wearing clanking full plate mail?

Moreover, the man wearing that armor was a figure so great that even the local lord would fear him.

The native farmer accompanying him gulped.

\'Steel Gunter... They say he\'s not the best of the Eight Heroes, but he\'s terrifying.\'

A dangerous magical beast had recently migrated to the Sija Forest.

When the beast killed several of the lord\'s soldiers, the lord requested help from the capital.

That\'s why one of the Eight Heroes, Gunter, had come.

"Is it there?"

Gunter asked in a heavy voice.

The place he pointed to was a cave in a crevice of the forest cliff.

The farmer quickly answered.

"Yes, that\'s the breathing hole. That thing has settled there."

"You can wait here."

Gunter was famous for his tumultuous life story.

Unlike other heroes, he came from the lowest commoner background.

But he possessed a mental strength like steel, and a talent that shone even brighter.

Starting as a mercenary, he became one of the kingdom\'s Eight Heroes with just a halberd, making him appear mysterious to the local peasants.

How long did they wait?

Gunter, who had been sitting on a tree, suddenly stood up.

"It\'s coming."

Even though no one else had sensed anything.

As expected, an ominous sound echoed from the breathing hole.

Shh, shh.

The farmer\'s spine tingled.

Something huge was slithering out from inside.

"Close your eyes. Unless you want to turn to stone."

At Gunter\'s warning, everyone tightly shut their eyes.

Only a few brave souls took out hand mirrors to watch Gunter\'s heroic act.

The farmer was one of them.

He watched through his grimy hand mirror to see what would crawl out of the breathing hole.

That way, he could avoid the creature\'s gaze.

"Hick."

He inadvertently gasped.

What appeared was a terrifying monster.

That thing was no mere snake.

Although it had "serpent" in its name, how could a magical beast have a woman\'s face?

A snake\'s body as thick as a large tree, and a human face.

Each strand of hair was actually a tiny baby snake.

The green snakes attached to its head writhed, baring their venomous fangs.

"Shirilit-"

And that long purple tongue flickering from the Medusa Serpent\'s lips.

Its bewitchingly glowing eyes turned towards Gunter.

Those without resistance would freeze on the spot if they met its gaze.

But Gunter charged forward without flinching.

He raised his halberd and charged straight ahead, almost recklessly.

The farmer, noticing that Gunter had his eyes closed, almost screamed.

"Saaak!"

The Medusa Serpent\'s mouth opened wide, lunging towards Gunter.

Even with armor, if caught in that huge mouth, he would be crushed whole.

The movement Gunter showed after that was difficult for the farmer\'s eyes to follow.

There was a flash, and he leaped high.

And as he swung that huge halberd–

Crack- Thud!

The Medusa Serpent\'s head was severed.

The headless body thrashed about in all directions.

But Gunter paid no attention and shook the blood off his halberd.

"Tell the lord that the beast has been subjugated."

"Y-Yes, sir!"

The farmer\'s legs trembled.

One strike. Gunter had taken down that monster with just one strike.

What he had seen today would be a lifelong boast.

"Ugh, aack!"

Someone screamed.

A disgusting scene unfolded there.

The Medusa Serpent\'s hair, those thousands of tiny snakes, fell from the severed head.

Those small snakes didn\'t dare go towards Gunter and hurriedly fled towards the breathing hole where their mother had settled.

"What should we do about those?"

The farmer couldn\'t help but ask.

Gunter looked at the farmer with cold eyes.

"Are you saying I should kill such baby snakes too?"

"I-I\'m sorry!"

The startled farmer quickly knelt and bowed his head.

"...Is that cave a dead end?"

"Yes, it is."

"Then have the local troops exterminate them. Set fire or something."

Gunter said this and turned around without hesitation.

The farmers left behind could only stare blankly at the breathing hole.

Thousands of snakes swarmed into the cave like a mass of insects.

"We should keep watch here."

"Let\'s light a fire... Anyone have some white alum?"

Although those baby snakes weren\'t that dangerous, the farmers sighed.

One of them pointed at the crawling mass of snakes.

"Look, there\'s a white one mixed in."

"Must be a white-haired one. Haha."

==

Yes, and one of those thousands of tiny snakes was me.

And a particularly small and weak one at that, the lone white individual.

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[Little White Snake lv1]

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Medusa Serpents raise their offspring by attaching them to their heads.

Born from an egg, I had clung to my mother\'s body to survive.

But some monster-like guy had cut off my mother\'s head.

\'Fuck, I didn\'t know Background included species!\'

I was prepared to be born as a beggar.

I was even prepared to grow up being beaten by a mean orphanage director.

But a snake. And not just any snake, but the offspring of a monster snake? What the hell is this?

Just then, my mother\'s decapitated body thrashed, crushing my siblings.

I almost died.

I barely managed to slip past my siblings who had been turned into bloody pulp.

「You have acquired Quick Crawling lv1.」

「Due to your innate potential, your proficiency increases rapidly.」

Oh, to hell with potential.

I crawled desperately.