I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

Swan kept quiet for a moment before speaking again.

"So stop speaking so formally to me. It\'s weird."

I could hear the honesty behind those words. With that, he muttered, "Was my tone too mean?" quietly, as if he didn\'t want me to listen. It sounded like he honestly wanted me to speak casually to him.

I decided to just immediately switch to casual speech towards Swan. But, for some strange reason, it didn\'t feel weird to speak casually to him. As if I\'d spoken to him like this to begin with.

No way, did I forget me ever being close to Swan when we were younger? I didn\'t think I had any gaps in my memory. I became curious.

But speaking of, there was something I was more curious about than our supposed childhood friendship.

Why was Swan avoiding my gaze? Had I possibly done something mean to him during our childhood? I had a mountain of questions in my head. I decided to ask.

"Swanhaden, I keep feeling like you\'re avoiding me. That\'s just me misunderstanding, right?"

"….."

Swan didn\'t reply. But he did look happy that I spoke casually to him.

It seemed true that he was avoiding me. That meant I had to figure out why he was so wary of me and avoiding me.

If he had some sort of grudge against me and was trying to dig up any information about me because of it, I needed to get it solved right now. Moreover, he had said that we were close with his own lips. That meant that if there was some sort of misunderstanding between us, he was willing to get it fixed.

I did not want to become enemies with Swan. He was terrifying. Yves and Swan were both people that I would never, ever want to be enemies with.

"Did I do something wrong?"

I asked, still walking. Swan quietly listened.

"And you don\'t like me because of that."

I barely kept walking, trying to move past the dizziness. It was difficult for me to speak, but I felt that this was the only chance I had to talk to Swan face to face.

As soon as I finished that sentence, Swan, who had been walking in front of me, turned around. It was the first time I had seen Swan so shocked. Swan, who had just looked bored, demonic, or annoyed, was suddenly shocked.

"That\'s not…..!"

The little duke shouted, voice higher in pitch than usual.

I was so surprised that my legs lost strength and I tripped on a rock. I closed my eyes, knowing I would fall, until…..

"…….?"

I fell forwards, but I didn\'t fall to the ground. Swanhaden had caught me as I had fallen.

The problem was that I fell forwards. The ground that I was on was higher up than where Swan was. I had basically fallen into his arms. Swan and I met each others\' gaze. I could see his pretty eyes up close. His pretty, jewel-like eyes focused on me, as if shocked. He seemed shaken after realizing that our gazes had met. His face began to turn red. Even his ears, filled with scars, had turned red.

He hurriedly looked away from me, but his face was still red. It looked like it was on the verge of exploding, but his expression looked bored. He hurriedly put his hands off of me after accidentally hugging me.

I looked at Swan\'s bright red face. He didn\'t seem to know where to look, looking this way and that, before deciding to just turn his head away. Even his neck had turned red.

Swan dropped his head to the floor, still turned away, and muttered quietly to himself.

"Someone save me….."

It was so quiet that I couldn\'t really hear it. Swan fiddled with his hands after he took his hands off of me. He dropped his hand to the floor and started to rip out grass from the ground.

Swan seemed worse off than me.

Breathe, just breathe.

He seemed panicked, face still burning red. I felt bad for him as I watched. Was it too much for him to even grab me before I fell? What was wrong with him? Did he catch whatever bug I had or what?

I tried to put my hand on Swan\'s forehead. He immediately blocked it. Swan quietly told me to not do that with a look on his face like any other kind of stimuli would kill him right then and there.

"…….? Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?"

Swan wanted to push me away, but couldn\'t. His hand just hovered midair a few times, before going back to ripping grass. With a lot of effort.

"………"

Swan didn\'t respond to my question. I was sure that he could use healing magic, but why wasn\'t he using it on himself? I wondered if he had a penalty to the magic that prevented him from using it on himself, but I didn\'t know.

Swan just continued to rip grass from the ground a bit longer before speaking.

"Damn it, I feel like I\'m going to die like this so get off from me. I can\'t push you away."

I was still in Swan\'s arms. I was slightly pushing him down, so I had to stand up first for him to get up.

I understood why he wanted me to get up, but I didn\'t get why he said that he couldn\'t push me away. Why couldn\'t he? Was it that he didn\'t want any sort of physical contact with me? But wouldn\'t pushing me away be better than still touching me in that case?

But…sorry, I think I\'m getting dizzier than before.

I was slowly losing consciousness. To the point that I felt like passing out right then and there.

"Sorry, but I\'m out of energy. I can\'t get up."

I was barely holding on to my consciousness. Honestly, it was to the point that just walking was a gargantuan task. I had been grabbing onto my consciousness in order to clear the air between Swan and myself, but this felt like the end of the rope. The world was turning on its axis. My lower stomach felt like it was going to rip in half. I wanted to hurry up and pass out to get away from the pain. If I knew that this was how my day was going to unfold, I would\'ve just taken a break.

"…..I\'m in a lot of pain right now, so."

It didn\'t matter if I could trust him or not. I didn\'t have the energy to think anything through. All I wanted was for me to be back in school when I woke up.

If I was lucky, Swan would, hopefully, drag me back to school.

"I\'m going to leech off of you now."

I passed out.

When I woke up, the first thing that faced me was a white ceiling. I inhaled deeply without knowing it, and exhaled with a loud huff. I stayed in the bed for a long time before wiggling my toes. I didn\'t have any issues breathing or moving. I was safe.

It felt like I had to get up soon, so I slowly moved into a sitting position. A bunch of things that had been laid on the bed fell onto the floor.

I didn\'t realize it while I was lying down. Had there been a mountain of stuff on the bed before? When I checked what was on the floor, it turned out to be all medicine. Pain medicine, fever reducers, and different medicine for all kinds of treatments were laid on the bed and on the small desk next to it, and there were also a few familiar looking potion bottles on the desk as well.

I sat, still blank, before looking around.

"Where is this….."

I frowned and tried to remember anything that I could. I participated in the monster subjugation, but had passed out because of the pain. Considering that the last thing I remembered was Swanhaden\'s face, it seemed that he had brought me here. Maybe he did have a conscience after all?

I checked my surroundings and tried to figure out where I was. I checked the curtains, the pillow, and blanket and saw the school logo on it. I could see the school nurse\'s silhouette through the white curtains. Thankfully, this was the nurse\'s office. I breathed a sigh of relief once I realized that Swan had taken me to the school nurse.

I ignored the mountain of medicine and stood up. When I checked the clock, it seemed that the practical exams were still taking place. Only a little bit of time had passed since I had passed out. Swan must have immediately come to the school after I had lost consciousness.

I got up from the bed and did some light stretches. My body felt light and full of energy after sleeping. The heavy feeling of my body had disappeared, and the splitting pain in my stomach had also gotten better. My dizziness and nausea had also disappeared.

I tried to leave the office now that I had recovered. When I grabbed the doorknob and was just about to leave, the nurse asked me if I was okay. It seemed that the nurse had also been worried, considering that I, with my zero track record of ever visiting the office, had come in after passing out. I smiled and nodded before leaving the office.

The first thing I saw once I left was a familiar head of silver hair. He was hunkered on the floor of the empty hall with his face in his arms. The aura he was exuding was incredible. I felt like I was hallucinating the black haze around him. Swan raised his head as soon as I opened the door.

Swan\'s face was full of anguish. I honestly didn\'t think we were close, but Swan greeted me with a face filled with worry.

As soon as he saw me leave the office, Swan ran towards me and gave me a hug. His hands, hugging me, felt both careful yet rough. I found myself being hugged, in his arms, without any warning.

Swan held me with shaking hands and buried his face in my shoulder. Then, he slowly breathed in and out.

He was scared. Even though I had no idea what he was scared about.

At first, the hug was gentle, but the hug grew tighter and tighter. As if he wanted to check that I was real, he pulled me closer to him with his hand. I felt like I was being suffocated.

My brain and body were stiff: I was being hugged by someone I wasn\'t even close with. Moreover, I had just woken up and I didn\'t have the strength to shove him away. I couldn\'t, anyway. Swan had an indescribable look on his face that made me feel guilty.

He always had one of two options: a bored, boorish expression, or an excessively demonic smile. The expression on his face and the emotions on it were something I had never seen.

When I just stood there, puzzled, Swan raised his head from my shoulder and grabbed one of my hands. I was surprised as I felt the cold hand on mine.

Then, he held the hand and put it near his face. My hand was covering one side of Swan\'s face. I could feel the heat of his face under my hand.

Swan\'s eyes were still wet and red-rimmed. His jewel-colored eyes sparkled even more because of the extra moisture. Swan stared at me with those eyes. I could read worry and sadness in his eyes. I had only seen pure evil in them until now.

Swan began to speak, voice weak.

"Don\'t be in pain……."

Tears formed in his eyes. My heart hurt for some reason when I saw his tears.