I Became The Stepmother of My Ex-husband

In the dreamlike vermilion courtyard stood a maid with her hair up double buns, her clothes made of smooth and vibrant lu silk. It seemed like she didn’t dare face the person in front of her, her voice thin and soft like a mosquito, “Shizi Fei^◇, someone sent word from the front yard just now saying that Shizi^◇ is busy today and he won’t be coming. If Lady feels uncomfortable, then I will call the imperial physician to have a look at you again.”

Shizi Fei◇

Shizi◇

The woman opposite her froze for a long time. Only after what seemed like half a day did she faintly respond with a stunned voice, “Busy? I have no idea what could possibly be more important than I, his dying wife.”

“Lady…”

“Stop talking, I don’t want to listen.” The woman coughed twice, trying very hard to suppress it and refusing to show weakness in front of others. The maids who stood outside also knew this master’s rules, so they held their breath and lowered their heads, not looking at the other person’s sickly appearance. After a while, the cough finally eased a little. The woman didn’t care enough to moisten her throat with tea, and instead insisted on asking, “Who came to deliver the message?”

The maid couldn’t bear to say it, “Shizi Fei…”

“Say it! “

The maid sighed and replied, “It’s Miss Yun Hui.”　

“Yun Hui…” The woman laughed lightly, unsure whether it was sarcasm or self-deprecation, “So it actually was her. I can’t compete, I truly can’t compete with her. She waited on Shizi for many years and was bestowed by Princess Shen^◇ herself. How can I, as an outsider, match this kind of long standing mutual affection?”

◇

She was obviously the Shizi Fei but called herself an outsider. If other people heard this, they would definitely be nothing but a joke. But the maid knew that Shizi Fei only spoke the truth regarding the Prince Yan Residence.

Shizi and Shizi Fei had barely been married for a year, but their relationship was even worse than that of strangers. Shizi Fei had become so severely ill that servants like them concealed the fact that they’d called on the front yard three or four times, but the results became more chilling with every visit. The maid knew that although Shizi Fei was tough with her words, forbidding them from inviting Shizi over, but she closed one eye to their small actions. It was obvious that she also wanted to see him. But Shizi never came, not even once.

Still, Lin Wei Xi laid on the simple wooden bed with her eyes closed, but tears continued to trickle from the corners of her eyes, wetting the pillow. Lin Wei Xi knew that she had been caught in a nightmare, because even in the dream, the memories of the past wouldn’t let her go. Again, it brought her back to the Prince Yan Residence; brought her back to that failure of a marriage.

Actually, she wasn’t originally called Lin Wei Xi, neither was she this small village girl. Her previous family was very prestigious, and she was originally named Gao Xi, the eldest di^◇ granddaughter of Duke Ying. Her biological father was the only di son of the duke, while her birth mother was the only daughter of Princess Royal Shou Kang^◇ . Being born into this kind of family, her background was quite good.

di◇

Princess Royal Shou Kang◇

Because of her prominent status, Gao Xi was very strong willed since young, and even had an honourable marriage afterwards. She relied on the status of her maternal grandmother, and actually married Gu Cheng Yao, the only son of Prince Yan^◇. After the marriage was announced, the whole capital was shocked that Princess Royal Shou Kang had actually been able to get Gao Xi married to the only son of Prince Yan, and the Grand Princess’s reputation skyrocketed.

◇

Speaking of Prince Yan, everyone under the heavens, regardless of whether they were men, women, young or old, even a suckling infant had heard of his prestigious name. The final years of the previous Jianzhao Emperor were very turbulent. Bu Guifei^◇ had dominated the imperial court with the help of a powerful eunuch. If Prince Yan hadn’t entered the capital with his troops in time, restoring order and killing the eunuch, the future would’ve changed drastically. Prince Yan did everything in his power to protect the emperor and subdue the uprising. After the death of the previous emperor, he supported the new emperor, who was only eight years old, in succeeding the throne. The Great Zhou Dynasty’s vassal states took advantage of the youth of the new emperor, and the following year, many places at the border grew restless. Prince Yan took the initiative in battle and left the capital with his troops to quell the chaos. During this time, it was when Gao Xi was ill and bedridden for several days that the front line sent back the news that Prince Yan had achieved victory. Once the good news was received, everyone in the imperial court celebrated. To put it bluntly, the little Emperor was young, the Empress Dowager was cowardly, and even worse, the court officials were a mess. Now, the whole Zhou Dynasty relied solely on Prince Yan to guard it.

◇

Prince Yan only had this one son, Gu Cheng Yao. Since she was Gu Cheng Yao’s wife, it was only right for her to feel proud when her father-in-law repeatedly made military achievements. It was a pity that the glory of Prince Yan Residence belonged to Prince Yan Residence, and had nothing to do with her.

Gao Xi sometimes wondered, back when she first married Gu Cheng Yao they were obviously deeply affectionate. So why did he suddenly turn so cold?

She still remembered during the first night of their marriage when Gu Cheng Yao lifted up her bridal veil, he had deliberately avoided everyone and said to her with a smile, “Look, I still found you.”

Gao Xi was confused, what did that mean? But the newly-weds were thin-skinned, and Gu Cheng Yao took her silence as shyness, smiling faintly before dropping the matter. Was there any girl who didn’t think of love? Gao Xi grew up listening to Prince Yan’s exploits, and now she was married to his only son, who had the aura of a deity. Gao Xi’s heart was instantly shaken, and she became both anxious and happy to be Gu Cheng Yao’s wife. In the following month, the two of them shared a strong affection, were almost inseparable, and Gao Xi happily relished in the comfort and luxury. Since she was a child, she grew up seeing her mother suffer from the concubine’s schemes. She never thought that her marriage would be this happy.

But still, she’d miscalculated the Heaven’s kindness. Fresh flowers withered, a beautiful face would grow old, and too much fortune would never stay for long. In just one month, Gu Cheng Yao’s attitude took a turn for the worse. That day, he looked at her coldly and questioned her, “Why did you lie? Why did you impersonate her?”

What?

At that time she, who wasn’t very good at the feminine arts, was sewing clothes for Gu Cheng Yao. Because she couldn’t compare to Gao Ran, the more she did it, the more she disliked it. But now, she wanted to make a set of clothes for Gu Cheng Yao with her own two hands, not caring even when her fingers were pricked with needles until they bled. Hearing Gu Cheng Yao’s words, Gao Xi was baffled. What lies? What impersonation?

Since then, Gao Xi and Gu Cheng Yao’s marital relationship cooled down, and it would not be an exaggeration to say that it was a disaster. Gao Xi was the di eldest granddaughter of the duke, and even more so, her grandmother, the Grand Princess, pampered her greatly and so she was rather ill-tempered. Since Gu Cheng Yao didn’t want to come, then good riddance. He shouldn’t expect her to be like those concubines and fight for his favour to keep him with her.

Subsequently, the husband and wife became more distant over time, turning into each other’s enemy. In the end, Gao Xi fell ill and lingered on the sickbed, unable to get up again, but Gu Cheng Yao still refused to even look at her.

Gao Xi was an extremely proud person, but this failed marriage completely destroyed all her pride.

Gao Xi could not reconcile with this when she died. Where did she go wrong? Why did Gu Cheng Yao not like her? Even if he didn’t favour her, how could he not even respect her dignity as his wife in her final moments?

Maybe because her remaining grievances were unaddressed, her soul was not taken away into the underworld, and she floated for a while in a muddled state, and actually returned to the world again.

This time, Gao Xi finally knew why Gu Cheng Yao had asked her those two questions, and why she suddenly fell out of favour.

Gao Xi found a book amidst the vast expanse of whiteness. She was puzzled and tentatively flipped through it. What she read shocked her to her core and left her trembling. 

The book depicted Gao Xi’s life, but unfortunately, she was not the protagonist. Instead, the protagonist was her younger shu^◇ sister, Gao Ran, who had been a thorn in her side since childhood.

◇

The book described Gao Ran as a transmigrator. Gao Xi didn’t know what a transmigrator was, but this was nothing more than an insignificant passing remark in the book. What Gao Xi really cared about was the story that followed.

According to the book description, Gao Ran transmigrated into one of the Duke Ying Residence’s unfavoured shu daughters when she was six years old. She had just caught a serious illness and almost died. Perhaps the host was already dead, so Gao Ran was able to take her place. 

After Gao Ran reincarnated into the body, she had the appearance of a 6 year old girl, but her mind was that of a 26-year-old adult. With the help of her modern knowledge and adult experience, she pretended to be stupid, playing dumb while hiding her strength. Not only did she help her biological mother Han Shi^◇ become the Duke Ying Shizi’s favourite concubine, she even instructed her younger biological brother, who later overcame his status as a concubine’s child and established himself as the heir of the Ying dukedom. Furthermore, Gao Ran herself saved a masked man in a Buddhist temple when she was 13 years old. She didn’t want to reveal her identity, but the other person forcefully held her hand and refused to let go. Gao Ran had no choice but to remove a jade pendant from her person. If he had the ability to find her, he would. 

◇

Gao Xi laughed mournfully when she read that, laughing till she cried. It was no wonder her elders always accused her of not being as sensible or caring as Gao Ran when she was a child. No matter what she studied, Gao Ran was always the faster learner. In the past, Gao Xi thought that Gao Ran’s smarts were perhaps Heaven’s blessings. Now she understood that Gao Ran was not a child at all, and her age was even comparable to Gao Xi’s mother. She was an old woman living in a child’s body, no wonder she was so capable.

No wonder Gu Cheng Yao had said to Gao Xi that day in the bridal chamber, “Look, I still found you.” No wonder Gu Cheng Yao later said she lied.

So that was it, that was it!

The corners of Gao Xi’s eyes reddened with anger. Her biological mother Wei Shi was the di daughter of Princess Royal Shou Kang. The Grand Princess had only this one child, so one could only imagine her pampered personality. Therefore, Wei shi always carried herself like a noble lady with an indifferent expression, refusing to humble herself to coax her husband, refusing to put on a gentle demeanour. From a young age, Gao Xi watched her mother guard the lamp alone, waiting from dawn until dusk for the arrival of her husband. But at this time, Gao Xi’s father, the Duke Ying Shizi, spent most of his time in Han shi’s courtyard.

Gao Xi felt distress for her mother and was angry at that fox of a concubine from the west courtyard. But she was a di daughter. She couldn’t possibly lower herself and make things difficult for a concubine, so she studied desperately, trying to surpass Gao Ran, that girl from the west courtyard. The strange thing was, no matter how much effort Gao Xi spent in private, she could never be as thorough or capable as Gao Ran. Gao Ran could play new and innovative songs, surprising the zither masters. She invented gomoku and checkers, which attracted the youths in the clan to scramble to make friends with her. Sometimes, Gao Ran would blurt out an extremely sophisticated verse. But when asked about it, Gao Ran would smile faintly and say that she’d only thought of this one sentence, and forgot the rest. 

No one believed that Gao Ran had really forgotten such profound verses, but felt that she was hiding something. For this reason, everyone in the Residence paid more attention to her. As Gan Xi stood in the shadows of such a little sister, there was no way she didn’t feel the pressure. Fortunately, Gao Xi’s identity left Gao Ran in the dust, and with the influence of Princess Royal Shou Kang, Gao Xi married Gu Cheng Yao of the Prince Yan Residence. Gao Xi once quietly thought to herself that she’d finally won against Gao Ran. No one else in the capital had a higher status than Gu Cheng Yao. Even if Gao Ran married up, her future husband’s family would definitely have a lower status than hers.

What a funny twist of fate. Gao Ran once rescued a man at a Buddhist temple, and by coincidence, that person was Gu Cheng Yao. At that time, Gao Ran took a jade pendant off her person in order to get away. That jade pendant was one half of a pair of fishes. Someone outside her family had made it and given it to Gao Xi. Gao Xi felt that the carving was quite delicate, and she happened to give one half of it to Gao Ran.

That was originally Gao Xi’s jade pendant, but because Gao Ran was afraid of getting into trouble, she used Gao Xi’s things to avoid the problem. Gao Xi had given it to her in private, so in case someone came looking for her in the future, Gao Xi would be the one left to handle it. 

Gu Cheng Yao fell in love at first sight with the mysterious woman who had saved him on that moonlit night. Although he didn’t see her face, he was determined to marry her. By mistake, Gu Cheng Yao  found Gao Xi with the half jade pendant and ended up marrying her. He was so sure that Gao Xi was his saviour, and they spent the first month after their marriage deeply attached to each other. But in the second month, when Gao Xi returned to her family’s house, Gu Cheng Yao accompanied her back and it was at the Duke Ying Residence where met his wife’s sister, Gao Ran.

In her ignorance, Gan Xi was repaid, lied to and then abandoned. 

The malicious older sister, who had deceived her younger sister and received kindness in her place, had been exposed. Even though her marriage afterwards was full of misfortune, Gao Xi had a stubborn personality. The more Gu Cheng Yao ignored her, the more she wanted to prove herself for everyone to see. Gao Xi personally managed Prince Yan Residence, drastically rectifying the land and shops that belonged to the Prince Yan Residence, suppressing the people who followed Gu Cheng Yao, and fighting with Gu Cheng Yao’s personal servant girl, Yun Hui, who had served him for ten years. Gao Xi fully believed that as long as she was capable enough, Gu Cheng Yao would see the good in her and change his mind.

But all she did was upset herself, slowly dying without waiting for Gu Cheng Yao to change his mind.

If the story had ended here, Gao Xi would only sigh, think that she had bad luck, and that she wasn’t meant to be with Gu Cheng Yao. However, the story so far was only a small section of the book, and the real climax was only just starting. After Gao Xi, who failed as an older sister and wife, died, the Duke Ying Residence also felt that Gao Xi was unqualified. She was simply the antithesis of what a good wife should be. The Duke Ying Residence felt guilty towards Gu Cheng Yao and proposed to let Gao Ran marry him as a substitute. Of course Gu Cheng Yao agreed. And so, not long after Gao Xi died, Gao Ran married Gu Cheng Yao as his second wife.

After Gao Ran married into the Prince Yan Residence, she always treated Gu Cheng Yao with tenderness. Gu Cheng Yao also greatly treasured someone he thought he’d lost, and so the two of them shared a mutual affection, devoting their love to each other. Gu Cheng Yao was so moved by Gao Ran’s sincerity, that he even dismissed his concubine for her and favoured only her. After many years passed, Gu Cheng Yao took over the mantle of Prince Yan and became the country’s new pillar of strength; but despite this he never took in a concubine.

The entire second half of the book depicted the sweet daily life of Gu Cheng Yao and Gao Ran, the text reflecting how much Gu Cheng Yao doted on Gan Ran, and how smart and capable Gan Ran was. She was a graceful and caring wife, and was the widely respected Shizi Fei of the Prince Yan Residence. When people in the capital praised Gao Ran, they would always bring up Gao Xi and use her utter failure to contrast Gao Ran’s high EQ. They would finally conclude with, “Sure enough, one can’t marry a wife just based on family background. Character and temperament are still the most important. The eldest miss of the Duke Ying Residence and Prince Yan’s Shizi Fei are the best example of this.” 

Look, even Gao Xi, the original wife, was not qualified for the title of Shizi Fei. 

When Gao Xi read this, she didn’t want to continue. She closed the book and let the tears fall down her cheeks.

Buddha said that there were seven kinds of suffering in the world: birth, old age, sickness, death, resentment, separation from loved ones, and not getting what one wants.

Gu Cheng Yao was exactly what Gao Xi wanted but couldn’t obtain. Since she was a child, her father and male elders did not find her endearing. After marrying the person she liked, he ignored her, and so she had to put on a tough and careless front, doing everything she could to attract him to return to her. Even when she exhausted herself until she died of depression, not once did her husband turn around to look at her. 

In fact, when Gao Xi died, she knew that Gu Cheng Yao was young and had a prestigious family background. It was inevitable that he would marry again in the future. Considering the influence of Prince Yan, the capital had many noble women who were no worse than her rushing to marry Gu Cheng Yao. But only Gao Ran and Gao Ran alone could not be that person. It was after Gao Xi had hastily swept through the second half of the book did she realize that Gu Cheng Yao could also be troubled by something he wanted but could not have. He could swallow his pride in order to please a woman. He even had no regrets about keeping himself just for one woman, never touching other women.

When Gao Xi read the book she came across a word: Scumbag. Even if Gao Xi had never heard it before, she could guess it’s meaning. Was Gu Cheng Yao a scumbag? It didn’t seem so. He could be passionately devoted, choosing to stay with only one person out of all his potential lovers. But in the end, this affection wasn’t given to Gao Xi.

Heartbroken, Gao Xi’s eyes gradually clouded with tears. Before losing consciousness, Gao Xi saw a frail and delicate girl smiling shyly at her, “Benefactor sister, I’m going to find my father. Six years ago, you saved me. But I’m unable to repay your kindness, and can only trouble you to live on in my place.”

Gao Xi was disoriented and didn’t know how long she had slept. When she woke up, she saw a worn down bed canopy, a dark wooden cabinet, as well as a pair of slender white hands.

It seemed to be very noisy outside, with the clamour of a crowd of people. Gao Xi faintly heard words like “martyrism”, “Prince Yan’s decree,” and “confer a title” and so on. Gao Xi supported her weak body and walked to the vanity mirror, staring at the face in the mirror for a long time.

Yes, the eldest di granddaughter of Duke Ying Residence and the Prince Yan Residence’s Shizi Fei Gao Xi was already dead. From today on, she was Lin Wei Xi.