If You Could Hear My Heart

“When you had the miscarriage, did third brother know about it then?” Xu Chaomu asked.

After Mo Shuifu was discharged from the hospital following her miscarriage, she took a train leaving C City. She learned later that Shen Shihan had really made up his mind to let her go at that time.

“He found out after I was discharged and left C City,” Mo Shuifu said lightly.

“That must have been really hard on him,” Xu Chaomu sighed as well.

Even if one’s heart is hard and one’s hands are ruthless, even if one can be so harsh toward her sister with whom she had lived for eight years, Mo Shuifu’s child was, after all, his own flesh and blood.

“Later, when I asked him, he said it was also because of that child that he didn’t want to let me go anymore. Afterward, he searched for me for over a year and brought me back from another city.”

When Mo Shuifu talked about these things, her face was still shrouded in a layer of sadness.

“By the way, Shui Fu, try these grapes, the butler just bought them today, they’re really sweet!” Xu Chaomu changed the subject.

Although there were many things she still didn’t understand, at that moment, she couldn’t bear to peel away Mo Shuifu’s wounds anymore.

Some wounds bleed afresh every time they’re peeled back.

Just like her own, the many events from five years before.

On that passenger ship, the sound of gunfire still chills her heart whenever she thinks of it.

And the pain of the bullet piercing her back, even in the sunny summer days, could chill her to the marrow.

The scar from the bullet wound on her back is still there today, and sometimes, when she touches it while bathing, she can feel its frightful ferocity.

Even though she can’t see it herself, she imagines it must be quite ugly.

That’s merely the physical pain. Then there’s that night with the torrential downpour, when the sea waves were towering, and she kept hearing Bai Man’s voice in her ears…

Bai Man had told her that Zhou Ran had tampered with the gas canister, causing an explosion; her mother died in the inferno…

That was, for many years, the blow that struck closest to her heart.

If she hadn’t been so optimistic, she thought maybe she would have had a mental breakdown.

When she was taken to the hospital, she didn’t even want to see Shen Chi, not in the slightest; even the sound of his voice felt like a screeching noise to her.

That night, unbeknownst to him, she fled along the hospital’s pipes, enduring her pain and desperately trying to escape…

In the eyes of others, she, Xu Chaomu, appeared indifferent to warmth or sorrow, when in fact, she simply preferred to bury her sadness deep in her heart.

Mo Shuifu took the grapes from Xu Chaomu’s hand, peeled one, and offered it to Xu Chaomu’s mouth: “Here, have one too.”

Xu Chaomu laughed and bit into the small grape.

As they chatted and ate grapes, Xu Chaomu shook her head after a while: “I can’t eat anymore, if I eat too much my baby will protest.”

Mo Shuifu was taken aback: “Chaomu, are you pregnant?”

She had never expected Xu Chaomu to be pregnant.

During this time, she had been busy with the piano shop and didn’t consider the possibility that Xu Chaomu might be pregnant.

In her eyes, Xu Chaomu was still that carefree, naïve girl!

“You can’t tell, can you? How many months along are you?”

Mo Shuifu stared at her stomach for quite a while; despite the thin clothes of summer, it really wasn’t apparent that Xu Chaomu was pregnant.

Xu Chaomu laughed: “A little over two months.”

A little over two months… Mo Shuifu’s brow furrowed. Was that when Xu Chaomu wasn’t back yet?

Then… the father of the child…

She suddenly felt a wave of emotion, as she had thought that Xu Chaomu would be with Shen Chi upon her return.

But she had not expected…

“Shui Fu, I just started knitting a sweater for the baby, what do you think, is it cute?”

Xu Chaomu picked up the knitting from the sofa, her face beaming with a smile.

Mo Shuifu came back to her senses and laughed: “You’ve just started; how could you tell if it’s cute yet?”

“It will be just right by the time this baby is born,” Xu Chaomu said with a smile, “Shui Fu, do you still remember? My mom used to knit us a lot of beautiful sweaters. She once knitted one for each of us, a matching pair.”

“I remember, I remember, the matching kitten sweaters. But the kitten on yours was a little bigger than mine, and you got upset over it.”

Mo Shuifu smiled happily, she remembered all those childhood moments.

It was hard to believe that so many years had passed, and now Xu Chaomu was about to become a mother herself.

If her own child had not met with an accident five years ago, he or she would be able to speak and walk by now…

“Yeah, I remember fighting with my mom because I wanted the bigger cat. She said it was cuter for you to wear the smaller one because you were younger.”

“Auntie pacified you for several days before you stopped crying,” Mo Shuifu said.

Thinking back to the little Xu Chaomu of her childhood, Mo Shuifu found her exceptionally adorable.

In the future, if the baby in her belly were to be born, surely they’d be very cute as well.

“My mom was so good to me; if she were still here, she would definitely knit many, many beautiful sweaters for my baby, in all sorts of colors,” Xu Chaomu said, somewhat wistfully, the gentle and graceful image of her mom surfacing in her mind.

Thirteen years had passed…

Mo Shuifu fell silent too. Aunt Xu really loved Xu Chaomu.

But Xu Chaomu’s dad… had never visited even once.

However, she did recall a strange man who came looking for Xu Chaomu’s mom, but Aunt Xu always said, if anyone asked for Xu Mengxi, to say they didn’t recognize her, they’d never seen her.

“Chaomu, I can knit too. How about this, when the time comes, I’ll knit a hat for your baby,” Mo Shuifu said with a smile.

“Oh, that’s great, then my baby won’t need to buy any clothes, and I’ll save a lot of money.”

“Thinking about it, I’ll be his third aunt too,” Mo Shuifu said, subconsciously regarding Xu Chaomu as Shen Chi’s wife.

“Not at all, I don’t have anything going on with Shen Chi,” Xu Chaomu pouted, “Be my baby’s godmother!”

“No… I want to be his third aunt,” Mo Shuifu smiled.

“So annoying, Shui Fu, I’m not talking to you anymore, you all pick on me,” Xu Chaomu huffed.

“Chaomu, the sun is setting now, the view here at Splendid World is so beautiful, let’s go for a walk,” Mo Shuifu suggested.

“Sure, I’ve been sitting in the living room for half the day, going out for a walk sounds great, let’s take Dabai with us,” Chaomu agreed.

“Let’s go.”

Mo Shuifu was in a good mood today as well; it had been many days since she had felt this perfectly content.

Having been married for over two years, the number of times she visited the Shen Family could be counted on one hand, let alone taking a proper look around.

Splendid World was a place with beautiful scenery, yet she had barely had the chance to enjoy it. Every time she wanted to stay overnight at the Shen Family, Shen Shihan didn’t seem too happy about it.

As Xu Chaomu and Mo Shuifu walked shoulder to shoulder out of the living room, the setting sun was perfect. The round sun hung like a duck egg on the hillside of the Splendid World villa area.