The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Fangzheng wasn’t in a rush. Instead, he looked at Qiu Baihong’s flustered eyes in a calm manner. He was like a tranquil spring lake as he asked, “Do you really wish to know?”

Qiu Baihong was about to nod, but before she even could, another memory was already flashing through her mind, and the scene before her changed.

She saw her memories of her investigating the cause of her mother’s death. She had never realized it before, but now that she carefully recalled those memories, she instantly turned frantic, because…

Her ‘investigations’ had consisted of nothing but asking around a bit! Furthermore, the people she had asked were all either drunks or people bullsh*tting by the road!

These people had casually given her random answers. Some of them had even told her that they were pulling her leg, yet she had believed their nonsense!

Fangzheng sighed. “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.”

Upon hearing this, Qiu Baihong felt thunderstruck. At the same time, she continued recalling the memories carefully. She kept recalling and thinking, only to sadly realize that everything she had convinced herself of didn’t line up…

The memories became clearer as the truth she originally believed in turned blurry. When the memories from both extremities clashed, she suddenly hugged her head and screamed. “That’s not right! That’s not how it went! You’re lying to me! You must be! I know the real truth!”

Fangzheng looked at the miserable Qiu Baihong who was tragically crying out. He couldn’t help but sigh. At times, killing a person wasn’t the worst way of inflicting pain. The worst pain was to shatter a belief they had staunchly believed in for years. The collapse of a belief was more painful than death. Qiu Baihong was now suffering in precisely such a state. She had lived in a dream she fabricated herself for more than twenty years! To have her staunch beliefs that lasted more than two decades crumble was a pain worse than death.

However, Fangzheng knew that it was inevitable. If he didn’t go this far, he wouldn’t be helping her but leaving her forever trapped in a nonexistent cage. She would seal off her heart more and more, never feeling the love given to her with only resentment in her heart. Such a person couldn’t be considered a human but a ghost!

With this in mind, Fangzheng took a deep breath and shouted like thunder. It sounded like the furious roar of Buddha. “Silly one, are you still not waking up? What are you waiting for!?”

The roar boomed in Qiu Baihong’s mind repeatedly as her final resistance crumbled.

The memories she had deliberately ignored and buried all spewed out together!

One scene after another flashed before Qiu Baihong’s eyes. They were extremely clear, nothing like the fake, blurry memories she had been holding onto so far.

Upon seeing these memories, Qiu Baihong was stunned. She stood there, speechless.

Fangzheng waved his hand and aligned the memories, playing them before Qiu Baihong in order.

The first scene was of Eighth Qiu carefully placing Qiu Baihong by his chest. Eighth Qiu’s warm smile was heart-warming.

The second scene was of Qiu Baihong being sick. Eighth Qiu was running with his top bare as he ran barefoot in the snow! As for her, she was wrapped in thick blankets without suffering any bit of the wind…

The third scene was of Eighth Qiu buying Qiu Baihong her first birthday gift. It was a golden tiger doll. She had smiled happily the entire day hugging it.

The fourth scene was of Qiu Jinyu offering a chicken drumstick to Qiu Baihong, as she heartily said, “Sister, have this!”

The fifth scene was of Qiu Baihong having her examinations. Eighth Qiu stood by the door waiting for her. At that instant and at any other in her life, she had known she wasn’t alone. Never!

The sixth scene…

The seventh scene…

Qiu Baihong slowly grew up. As she watched the heart-warming scenes, the resentment on Qiu Baihong’s face lessened as it was slowly replaced with smiles.

At that moment, another memory appeared. This particular scene even surprised Fangzheng as well!

It was a scene of Eighth Qiu being especially happy. He was dead drunk when he reached home.

Qiu Jinyu was already asleep, and since Qiu Baihong was worried that Eighth Qiu hadn’t had dinner, she had waited for him the entire time to remind him that there was still warm food in the wok. However, Eighth Qiu returned reeking of alcohol!

Qiu Baihong hated Eighth Qiu’s drinking. She frowned, and in an act of spite, she pretended to be asleep.

Eighth Qiu came to her mother’s altar and sat there, chuckling in a silly manner to himself. “Dear, you left early, but I have to tell you that our two daughters are good. There’s no need to say much about Jinyu. She’s our birth daughter. She’s like her father and you. She’s really obedient! Although Baihong was picked up, she’s obedient as well…”

Qiu Baihong had been stunned when she heard that. She stared straight ahead of her as she lay in bed, wearing a look of disbelief. Qiu Baihong got up the next moment and exclaimed. “Dad, what are you saying? Who was the one who was picked up?”

Eighth Qiu was truly given a fright as he jolted out of his drunken stupor. He knew that he had said something wrong! As he looked at the furious Qiu Baihong and the soundly-sleeping Qiu Jinyu, his mind went into a blur as he said, “I was talking about Jinyu.”

After Qiu Baihong heard that, she was immediately relieved. She then returned under her blanket without a word. It was also from that moment that her pure eyes turned ice-cold.

Upon seeing this, be it Fangzheng or Qiu Baihong, they both realized that she had known back then that the drunk Eighth Qiu was speaking the truth. His cover-up had been meant to coax her, but she still was afraid, afraid of the truth. Hence, she chose to seal her fear deep within her and to numb and convince herself otherwise.

Hence, she began thinking of different means to convince herself that she was the birth daughter while Jinyu was the abandoned child. From that day on, her life was a nightmare she herself fabricated. It was a nightmare no one could pull her out of. It was a nightmare she lost herself to!

Finally, to completely convince herself that the fabricated dream was real, she chose to leave the Qiu family and get married.

She originally believed that she would never meet Eighth Qiu again, but she kept fooling herself endlessly, never daring to face the truth. Yet, with Eighth Qiu coming every now and then, causing all her memories to be evoked when she had believed she would be able to lead her life in peace, the pain of it sent her mad!

Therefore, she desperately tried to reject Eighth Qiu, wishing that he would leave her life completely…

Finally, she succeeded. Eighth Qiu left and nearly froze outside!

Fangzheng also saw the final scene. That night, after Eighth Qiu left, Qiu Baihong had gone out as well!

In fact, all the way until Eighth Qiu was taken away by Old Jin, Qiu Baihong had been standing behind a haystack. She returned only after seeing that he was fine. At the same time, she deleted a number she had been prepared to call at any moment. On the phone’s screen, Qiu Jinyu’s number could be seen.