The Emperor and the Knightess

Perhaps it was a stupid thing to do. Many would think so, saying that such patience and consideration were silly. Even Lucius the First thought this; his patience was what caused that snake Frau to use Poliana in the past.

But even knowing this, the emperor could not help being gentlemanly. This was because he knew very well what could happen once he started to do what he wanted. He was the most powerful man in the kingdom. He had the power to take Poliana in any way he wanted. If he began to use his power for his personal gain, Lucius the First knew that it would be the beginning of him turning into a tyrant. What he gained from then on would become meaningless. What he wanted was for Poliana to choose him, not be forced to be with him. Perhaps it was his powerfulness that made his love so much harder.

His heart was pounding wildly, but the emperor said to Poliana nonchalantly, “I thought you were going to kiss the back of my hand.” Lucius the First was worried his heart might burst out of his chest. He was even more concerned that Poliana might hear his heartbeat, so he took a step back and acted calmly. Poliana said to him, “I thought I might realize something by doing this.”

“What were you hoping to learn?”

“Your highness, I love you. I can tell you without a doubt that this is the truth.”

Lucius the First was not surprised by this statement because he knew this already. Everyone could tell that Poliana loved and respected the emperor. The knightess and the emperor were smitten with each other. Their love for each other was greater than anything.

Unfortunately, however, the kinds of love they felt for each other were very different. Poliana continued, “My love for you has been from a knight to her emperor, but now, I am beginning to see you as a man. This change has brought me a lot of confusion. Your highness, you told me that your love for me suddenly changed. It is possible that the same thing happened to my feelings for you too since just now, I wanted to kiss you. So I thought that if I did what I wanted, which was to kiss you, I thought I might learn something from it… But that wasn’t the case.”

“If you ever want to test out things like that again in the future, please feel free to do it. I welcome it wholeheartedly.”

He would not only welcome it, but he would greatly appreciate it.

Poliana shook her head and replied, “There is no need because I will admit that I am physically attracted to you. In the past, whenever I saw you, I didn’t feel anything like this, but now…”

Poliana didn’t finish her sentence because she was afraid that saying what she thought out loud would be considered sexual harassment. Lucius the First was desperate to hear how she saw him, but he didn’t prod.

Poliana couldn’t hide her confusion. She was filled with wants and needs, but she couldn’t tell if they simply came from her lust for the emperor, or from love. She wanted to kiss him. There was no denying that she did. She thought that if he kissed him, her confusion would magically disappear and she would know the truth, but unfortunately, the kiss only confused her even more.

Love and lust often came together, but not always. There were times when they occurred separately. If one could only sleep with a person he or she loved, the human race would’ve ended a long time ago. Most people Poliana knew married without love, but even so, they all had plenty of children and lived content lives.

Poliana said to him, “I just don’t get it. I don’t understand what I am feeling. Not at all! But your highness, if what you feel for me is similar to how I feel, then…”

Poliana, uncertain about her own feelings, asked the emperor if it was possible that he confused his lust for love. Could it be that he was also having difficulties distinguishing the two similar but very different emotions? It was an extremely rude question. It was worse than when people whispered that the emperor had a fetish for older women because he lost his mother at a very young age.

Lucius the First’s eyes sharpened with anger, but he quickly controlled his fury. The woman he loved, standing in front of him, was the infamous Poliana Winter. She never had any marriage prospects until she was well into her thirties. She spent all her life surrounded by men on various battlefields. She became an adult without a first love. The very first man she fell for was a gold digger and a conman, and her first pregnancy was from a drunken night with her emperor. Her life has been very different than that of Lucius the First, who lacked nothing. Although he lost his parents very young, he grew up being loved by many.

Lucius the First said to her, “I will forgive you since you only asked this question out of confusion. But remember this; I will never forgive such a question the second time.”

“I apologize, your highness.”

Only

Lucius the First knew he needed to explain further. He continued, “Oftentimes, love comes with lust, obsession, and possessiveness. So please know this; I am a man who is lusting after you. I am desperate to make you mine, Pol. I hope you know that I can achieve this at any time. I have the power to do this, but I am being patient. I am sure you know why.”

If all Lucius the First felt for Poliana was lust, it would’ve been easy for him to satisfy his needs. All he had to do was order her to his bed. If what he wanted was just simply to marry Poliana, it also would’ve been easy for him to achieve this. All he would have to do is to order her. Even if he betrayed her and lost her trust, it didn’t change the fact that he was Poliana’s emperor and therefore her master. Poliana could never leave the emperor. She would always have to follow his order.

But Lucius the First refused to force her in any way and Poliana trusted him to be fair and honorable. The emperor said to the knightess, “I want to tell you this, Sir Pol. It is true that I love you and lust after you, but I am the kind of a man who would always respect you rather than force you. I hope you realize what it feels like to have someone who genuinely loves and cares for you. I think you already are beginning to learn what it feels like, right? You told me that you don’t dislike it. You said you actually like being treated this way. This is only the beginning. There is much more to come. I am a little hurt that you would even consider my feeling for you to be just lust. You are very cruel, Sir Pol.”

It indeed hurt the emperor greatly. When Poliana saw how the emperor felt, she gritted her teeth. She realized that she was being a coward. She ended up insulting the emperor.

“….I have done you a great wrong, your highness.”

“You are so cruel, my beloved lady. Let’s end our walk for today.”

This was all Poliana’s fault. She promised not to doubt the emperor’s love, but she ended up insulting him. Poliana tried to kneel and apologize, but Lucius the First refused to give his permission.