The Emperor and the Knightess

‘Why did you have to look just like your father? Why? Do I now have no choice but to propose to his highness? DO I now give up everything I built for myself?’

The sounds she made with her teeth were frightening. If she wasn’t holding her baby, Poliana would’ve punched the wall by now.

She knew it was the wrong thing to do, but Poliana wished to keep her son a secret. Her original plan, if the baby did not resemble Lucius the first, was to keep the baby fatherless. She knew that keeping the emperor’s first-born son a secret was an awful thing to do, but Lucius the First was still very young. He could remarry and have plenty of sons, so what would be the point of having a bastard son as his firstborn and possible heir?

This was the reasoning behind her original plan. It was just a convenient excuse, but Poliana didn’t want to admit it.

Because of the newborn, only the wet nurse, the nanny, the doctor, and a maid were allowed into the country house. The head of the maids delivered the congratulatory message from the vassals to Poliana.

Most people around her in Sitrin knew what Lucius the First looked like. All they knew was that the emperor was the most beautiful man in the kingdom. The head of the maids, however, did know the face of the emperor, but she didn’t say a word. She studied the baby closely in admiration, but that was it. Poliana trusted the head of the maid to keep her secret.

The problem was the vassals, who knew what the emperor looked like. Once they saw her son, Poliana was afraid that they would know immediately who the father was.

But then, there were so many people in the world who looked alike. On top of that, people rarely remembered their faces perfectly. The vassals saw the emperor a few years ago, so how many of them would be able to remember his face well? Even if they did, there was no way that any of them would feel certain about it. If Poliana denied it, they might just believe her. There was also a chance that the vassals might not even think of the emperor when they saw the baby’s face.

But then… Lucius the First was no ordinary beauty. His face was so beautiful that he even made the portrait artists cry from time to time. The scribes wrote in countless records how beautiful the emperor was. Poliana, as the head of the Second Division, met and worked with plenty of handsome men, but none of them could compare to Lucius the First. In her mind, Poliana believed that anyone who saw the emperor even once could never forget his beauty.

‘Why couldn’t my baby look like me…’

If Dog Stew was anyone else’s baby, any noblemen in the kingdom, Poliana could’ve kept him as her heir without a problem, but the baby was the emperor’s son. The baby was of royal blood. The baby might have been born out of wedlock, but he was still the first-born son of the emperor. Poliana could guess how fearful the vassals were going to be once they realized this truth.

And what if Lucius the First decided to acknowledge the baby as his own? And what if the emperor was unfortunate enough to never bear another son? Then her baby was going to become the next emperor…

Poliana shivered in fear.

Poliana was an infamous figure. She was despised by her enemies and admired by her allies. To become the woman who bore the next emperor… This was not the life she wanted. Poliana grabbed her head. She needed to think of another plan. If she couldn’t hide who the real father of her son was, should she perhaps try to fake the fact that she is the mother? Let the emperor tell everyone that he had this baby with an unknown woman?

Unfortunately, Poliana knew this was an impossible plan. First of all, the official record showed that the emperor did not sleep with anyone since his marriage to his three ex-wives. All the women that spent the night with the emperor were recorded in the royal documents.

One option was to lie that the emperor spent a night with a woman when he was traveling with Poliana, but this would require Lucius the First’s cooperation. Poliana knew very well that the emperor would not agree to this plan. He would say that he would rather marry her instead of lying to the world.

‘Arghh!’

Poliana screamed silently and her stress must’ve been felt by her baby. Her son stopped sucking and began to cough before vomiting. The nanny took the baby away to soothe him while Poliana cleaned herself up.

The more she thought about her situation, the angrier she became. No matter how hard she tried, Poliana could not come up with a plan. She needed help. She needed an ally. She needed someone who would point out her mistakes but also support her wholeheartedly.

Poliana quickly brought out a piece of paper and began to write a letter. Other women would’ve asked for help from their parents but Poliana didn’t have a family. In a situation like this, there was only one person she could trust.

She gave up writing a proper elegant letter. Instead, she wrote,

-My beloved brother Donau,

I am in trouble. Help.

***

Poliana tried to organize her thoughts. What were her crimes so far? She lied to the emperor, she raped the emperor, and she essentially kidnapped a member of the royal family, her son; there was no end to her wrongdoings.

After sending the letter, Poliana scratched her head. Perhaps it was best just to come clean now, but it was too late. The moment she ran away after lying to the emperor, she knew there was no going back.

‘But his highness will forgive me.’

Only

Her trust in Lucius the First was unwavering. He might get upset with her, but she could not imagine the emperor punishing her harshly, if at all. Poliana knew that the worst punishment she has been envisioning would never happen.

But the current situation was the worst possible scenario.

‘I should’ve told him the truth.’

Although she knew there was no point in regretting, Poliana couldn’t help it. She should’ve been braver and face the emperor from the beginning. She tried to cover it up by lying to him, and by doing this, she made things much worse. Why did she do it? What was wrong with her? Why didn’t her brain stop her from making this huge mistake? Poliana hated herself for it. The regret she felt was too heavy to endure.

All she wanted to do was be alone. She wanted to tell everyone to leave, but her newborn son wouldn’t allow such freedom. Her royal-blooded son asked for his mother very often. He was a very demanding baby.

When there wasn’t enough breast milk, Dog Stew cried angrily. Poliana became annoyed. She yelled at the wet nurse, “Just feed him your milk!”

As the baby continued to cry, Poliana became even more frustrated, “What an irritating baby… I grew up fine without my mother’s milk! Your sister did fine too, so why are you being so demanding!”